"The Skanks"

Today we read a book called Aliens Love Panta Claus. It goes along with the book Alien's Love Underpants. The premise of the story is the aliens are helping out Santa, but keep using underwear for everything. They use them as a hat on the snowman, exchange the stockings for underwear, use them as ornaments on the tree etc. After reading the book, I wrote the following sentence on the board and the kids had to finish the sentence in a creative way and illustrate. Then I put all the pages together to make a class book:

"The aliens might use the underwear to______________"

One little girl brings me her paper and it looks beautiful. Her handwriting is perfect (better than mine, I swear haha), her picture fills the page, and everything looks fantastic. I read her paper to discover this gem:

"The aliens might use the underwear as gifts and deliver them to the skanks."

no. freaking. kidding.

The picture is of a house, and on the house it says "The Skank's House". Next to the house are the gifts that have been delivered by the aliens and they are labeled with tags such as "To Mrs. Skank".

I couldn't even bring myself to ask her what it said because I was laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face (not in front of her of course, this happened when I immediately ran to show Michelle haha). Best I can figure, she either has some friends with a similar name and sounded it out wrong, or she might have been trying to write "The Skunk's House" because a number of other kids had the brilliant idea to write things about skunks and thought it was funny.

Either way, this one is a keeper.

Reasons I love my job

This morning I went to see one of my students play in his football game. At the end of the game I was giving him a hug and telling him goodbye when one of his little friends standing nearby overheard us talking and walked over ...

friend: hey! is that your teacher?
student: yeah
friend: aw man I wish MY teacher would come see me play. Your teacher is awesome! You're so lucky.

I looked back at my student and he was just beaming.

Dewberry Farm

Last week we took the kids on our annual field trip to Dewberry Farm (have I mentioned how much I LOVE that place?!? SO fun!!). The bus ride is actually pretty long for first grade standards. It takes about 40 minutes so by the time we get there the kids are usually getting pretty antsy. We were almost there when one of my cute little boys turns around and asks:

"Ms. McCormack, how much longer until we get there?"
"We're almost there D"
"*big sigh* I hate when people say almost!"
we then round the corner so we can see the farm
"Look D, we're here"
"Wow, that really was almost!!"

too cute!

We had a great day at the farm, just like last year. The kids had a blast even though it was FREEZING cold and incredibly windy!

Phone Conference

Yesterday I had, hands down, the funniest phone call of my life ...

 

Yesterday was parent teacher conference day and I had a list of parents that requested phone conferences. I dialed the first number and the student's grandmother answered the phone. She didn't speak a word of english (they are middleastern so I didn't know a word of their language either).

 

Grandmother: hello??

Me: Hi this is Ms. McCormack calling from JSES. May I please speak to *Susie's mother or father?

Grandmother: hello

Me: um, this is Susie's teacher ....

Grandmother: TEACHER TEACHER TEACHER (screaming!)

Me: May I please speak to Susie's mother or father?

Grandma: TEACHER TEACHER TEACHER

 

the grandmother then pulls the phone slightly away from her mouth and starts screaming across the house in their home language. I can hear the mother screaming back. This goes on for a good 5 minutes back and forth. Finally, a new voice picks up:

 

Mother: hello

Me: Hi this is Ms. McCormack, Susie's teacher, calling from JSES

Mother: hello

Grandmother (still on the line): TEACHER TEACHER TEACHER

Me: Ma'am, can you hear me?

Mother: hello. hello. hello

Grandmother: TEACHER TEACHER TEACHER TEACHER

 

at this point I'm not sure what to do. Obviously there is a complete language barrier here but I can't just hang up the phone on them, yet I can't tell them goodbye either. Then, a third voice picks up the phone:

 

Susie: hello?

Me: Oh, hi Susie.

Susie: hi Ms. McCormack. I'm so sorry, but my mom doesn't know English. She doesn't know what you are saying.

Mother (still on the line): hello. hello.

Grandmother (also still on the line): TEACHER TEACHER

Me: That's okay Susie. Does your dad speak English?

Susie: Yes, but he's at work right now. He won't get home until about 5:00

Me: okay, thanks sweetie. I was just calling to tell your mom and dad what a great job you are doing in my class.

Susie: Thank's Ms. McCormack. I'll see you at school tomorrow.

Mother: hello hello

Grandmother: TEACHER

Me: see you tomorrow Susie. Have a great day.

 

When I hung up the phone I literally cried I was laughing so hard. This seriously could have been on the show punk'd hahaha! Thank goodness my student picked up. What an adorable girl she is and so smart!

 

*names have been changed

 

I'm still laughing when I think about how this phone call went. Completely ridiculous.

A brief comparison

A few simple, but noticeable, differences between this year and last year:

- Last year I had to sharpen pencils EVERY SINGLE DAY because kids would destroy them on purpose.
- This year I had to sharpen pencils for the first time today (that's 13 days of school with one pencil per child!)

- Last year at least one kid was impatient and lazy and dumped their lunch tray on the floor next to the trash can EVERY SINGLE DAY (seriously, for 180 days!!!)
- This year, not one kid has accidentally spilled anything on the floor by the trashcan.

- Last year I had 5 kids ALL year that did their online reading homework (10 short books per month).
- This year I had 15 (of 18) kids start their reading online the very first night I assigned it (two of them even read over 20 books already!)

I LOVE my class this year! It's going to be such a good year!

First Day of School

Today was the first day of school. Last night I was a basket case worrying about how today would go. This morning I woke up at 4:30am on my own and figured why not go to the gym if I'm up. So I got to work out, shower, get dressed, and even enjoy a cup of tea before heading out the door. That was actually pretty nice, except that I was anxious the whole time.

At the end of the day I texted Tony and said, "I survived day 1!". His response cracked me up, "excellent news. I'm sure most teacher's did, but probably not all" I went on to explain that I didn't just survive, I had the most amazingly wonderful first day ever!

I wish that there were words to describe just how wonderful today was, but I seriously don't think I can even put it into words. I had 22 kids on my class roster, but had 5 no shows! I've never even had 1 no show, so this was insane! If you do the math, that's only 17 kids!! 17!!! And they are 17 of the most perfect children I have ever met!! We knew this group coming up was a group of angels because we heard it every day last year, but I had no idea what they would actually be like in the classroom. Seriously, they are amazingly perfect. They were so sweet and quiet and helpful and respectful and silly and I could just go on and on. I freaking love them already!!

At lunchtime, my team met together and we stood back and just watched the group for a second. They were quiet, and well behaved, and all doing the right things. Coleen looked at us and started to ask if ours were as good as hers and we all responded that we had almost cried first thing when we saw how great they were. Seriously, this is SUCH a change from last year's group I actually wanted to cry.

This might be the most telling of how great our day was (if you're a teacher, you'll understand). We did everything on the lesson plans, in every single subject, and even did them during our normally scheduled times. This is completely unheard of for the first day of school. You usually just watch the clock, see how much time there is, and grab something to fill that time. There was no time filling today, we just learned. It was so great!

I have a feeling it's going to be a very good year! :)

I Spy Bags

A couple years ago I got a great gift from a student that I had completely forgotten about in all the classroom moves. This parent made me an I Spy bag to use as one of my centers. An I Spy bag is simply a fabric pocket with a clear plastic window sewn in the front, that you fill with a random assortment of items for the student to find and then fill the rest of the way with poly pellets. As I was setting up my room this year I was really trying to think of some new fun things I could have available for kids to work on if they finish their work early. I found my I Spy bag and knew it would be perfect, so I whipped up a few more today to have a variety.

These are really simple to make, and I think the kids will really enjoy them. In case anyone else wants to make one, here's what to do:

1. Cut two 7 squares of fabric.
2. In one of those squares cut out a window (mine was a 5 1/2" square)
3. Cut plastic vinyl into a 6" square
4. Using a zig zag stich, sew the clear vinyl into the window of your fabric square.
5. Place right sides together and stitch around 3 1/2 sides of the square using a 1/4 seam.
6. Pull the bag through the hole to turn it right side up
7. Fill the bag with whatever items you want (make sure to either make a list or take a picture so kids will know what to look for) then fill until it's about 3/4 full of poly beads.
8. CAREFULLY sew up the remaining half side to close up the pocket.

That's it, you're done! You now have a super fun hands on i spy game kids can play quietly at their seat. This would also be a great thing to keep in the car if you had kids because it's simple, quiet, and takes time and concentration. Love these!

Christmas in August

This year I told myself I was not going to spend a ridiculous amount of unnecessary money on my classroom. By this, I meant I would not go to the teacher store and buy new borders, posters, letters etc just because they looked cute. I have all that stuff, and what I have is fine, so I was going to just make it work.

While I have in fact stuck to that goal in the sense that I have not spent any unnecessary money at the teacher supply store (all I bought were two sticker charts, desk name tags, and a set of library pocket charts), I may have ended up spending quite a bit of money on reusable supplies for my classroom. I justify these purchases by reminding myself these are things I do not currently have, and can use year after year.

That being said, Amazon and Paypal have made it WAY too easy for me to purchase things without guilt! Seriously, Amazon is the lazy man's mall. You don't have to leave the couch, and you can buy just about anything! In conjunction with PayPal, you don't even have to stand up to get your wallet, just click, and it's yours!

Just about every day when I come home it is like Christmas in August. I have literally had a package come in the mail every day for the past week haha! So, while I didn't spend money at the teacher store, and I didn't buy any junk I didn't need, I did buy:

- my own copy of SSPTU because I'm tired of having to borrow it every single day (plus I found it used for only $6!)
- 3 Draw Write Now books - these are an awesome for those early finishers!
- 120 piece magnetic letters set - I have lots of plastic letters, but none are magnetic
- 24 drawer organizer for SSPTU letters - this was just necessary for organization purposes
- USA state puzzle - I'm going to teach my kids the state song during calendar this year. This way we can add a state each day until we have learned them all.
- Have you FIlled a Bucket Today book - going to do this with my class this year, so the book was necessary. Plus, I LOVE books!
- I may have been lazy and purchased the black line for journaling prompts for tongue depressors because I was too lazy to make them myself hehe
- materials to make I spy bags - um, because these are fun and awesome for early finishers! Plus, I'm crafty like that!
- materials to make my own mind jar - I'm still debating buying the book. It's a little more than I want to spend, and I think I can just explain what the mind jar is just fine for the kids that might need it.

hmm that's all I can think of right now.  See how Amazon is the death of me?!? I can't stop buying things! haha At least everything I've bought so far are things I have a real purpose for and can be used year after year, but still. The most unfortunate part of this is the shipping. Had I purchased all this at once, I would have had free shipping, but no, I buy things as soon as I think of them so I have paid for shipping on every single one of these purchases. boo. I need to plan better to avoid having this happen again. Oh well, I THINK I am done buying things for now ... guess we'll see!

Classroom Tour

Since I'm still being lazy and haven't edited Colorado pictures yet (there are just so many to go through!), I thought I would give you a photo tour of my classroom this year.

 View from the door

(Moving counterclockwise around the room) Calendar and read aloud area

CAFE board, math tubs, and part of the classroom library

Other half the classroom library, computers, and student work bulletin board

Student cubbies

Guided reading table, teacher desk, student book box bookshelf

Close up of my new shelves which house all the word work materials, work on writing materials, choices for when you are done with work, and chapter books (ran out of room in the library haha)

Look at the new rug Kristine gave me! I LOVE it!!

Daily 5 choice board. SO excited to be doing daily 5 again this year. Missed it so much last year!

I love my classroom library. So organized and so many books! :)

My cute frogs! The student desk nameplates match these. Too cute!

That's about it. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. Bright, colorful, and spacious. This makes me excited for a new year.

World Record?

This morning (at 4:30am to be exact) Tony left to spend the next two weeks in China. I have found that having a roommate makes me much more lazy because at the end of the day I'd rather sit around the house with a friend than do something productive. Since I knew he would be leaving today, I already had a plan for how I was going to spend my time being productive over the next couple weeks.

Starting today I am going to the gym every. single. day. no exceptions. I have been HORRIBLE about going to the gym this past year so I'm going to kick start what I hope to be a regular routine once school starts by going every day while he is gone. So, this morning I got up and went to the gym. Good start.

I had planned to spend my time this week working on my classroom up at school. Next week I have a bunch of inservice, and the week after that we start out campus staff development days so I knew I had to get my room ready by the end of the week. After I hit the gym this morning I headed up to school. Michelle was there, so I wasted a bit of time chatting with her, then dove right in.

I'm not sure if there is a world record for the amount of time it takes to set up an entire classroom from boxes and stacks of furniture to finish, but I may have just set the record. I was at school for 6 hours today. An hour of that time I took a lunch break with Michelle (and quite honestly I spent some random time talking to her as well I'm not even accounting for). In 5 hours I got my room COMPLETELY set up. I'm talking every single thing is done. All my furniture is arranged, supplies are out (including book boxes filled on table groups), bulletin boards are set up, and even my hallway display is done. This is quite an accomplishment! Guess moving rooms at the last minute for the past 4 years taught me to be efficient with my time. YAY me!

Now I'm not quite sure what to do with the rest of my week though, as working in my room was pretty much the only thing on my to do list.  Tomorrow I think I'm going to go up for a few hours and organize some files and things I've been wanting to tackle, so that should be productive, but then, until I get my class list, I'm done. Amazing!

Oh, and I LOVE the way my room looks. :) I may be getting a little excited for this year, but shhh don't tell anyone hehe

Former Student

I had the greatest surprise the other day! Remember sweet M who I taught in first and second grade? Well when I told my class I was moving last summer he was one of the most heartbroken about it. After school ended he wrote me letters weekly all through the summer. I even ended up taking him out for ice cream late in the July before I left for Colorado so we could spend some time together and I could tell him goodbye. Unfortunately, in the process of moving to Colorado and back again, I lost his address and had no way to write back to him after his last letter. He has crossed my mind often this year, and I have wondered how he has been doing.

A week ago, out of the blue, I got an email from his mom. She said she had no idea if it was still my email address or not, but M had mentioned me that day and said he really missed me. He told her that his third grade teacher had told him she heard I moved back to Texas and was teaching elsewhere in the area. So, M's mom told him she would try and email me to see if I was around. I was so happy to hear from her when I got the email. I responded right away saying that yes I was back and town, and I would love to meet up with her and sweet M to catch up! In her response, in which we talked a little about details of where and when, she started by saying, "I am so glad you are back in the area. I read your email to M and he got the biggest smile on his face! I just know you are his first love...."

Every teacher wants to make a difference to the kids in her class. Every teacher wants to be remembered. This year has been so tough because I honestly have not felt like I made a difference in anyone's life. I don't think there is a single child in my class this year that will look back on me with fond memories. I've really been feeling down about this. But then, to get this email from the parent of a former student, well, I really needed that. You can't tell me I didn't make a difference in his life. You can't tell me this little boy won't remember me years from now.

I'm so excited he got back in touch with me. I cannot wait to meet up with him and his mom in a few weeks!

As much as I complained about having to move grade levels and teach the same group of kids for 3 years in a row, I have to say, it worked out to be such a positive experience. There are 4 children from Highlands that I still keep in touch with. 3 of them are students I taught for more than one year. You just can't help but form special bonds with kids like that.

180 Crazy Things for 180 Days! - Part 6

Here is the final installment of our 180 Crazy Things for 180 Days list. This is the whole group portion:

153. Positive reinforcement!

154. All the parents refusing to listen to directions at the farm and going the wrong way

155. Kids eating grass on field day

156. Kids giving "pretend wedgies and pretend choking"

157. Kids bullying third graders in art from the hallway so the teacher had to put up paper in the window

158. Only whole class bathroom breads allowed

159. Military marching for PE minutes

160. Prison riot! Kids start doing we will rock you song (stomp stomp clap) during lunch all together

161. Kids "texting" on nintendo ds on game day

162. A kid with the user name "sexy" on their ds

163. kids chewing up the metal part of pencils and ripping it off

164. kids acting like babies - need to get "diapers"

165. Bullying 4th graders on the bus

166. girls breaking the toilet paper roll every day in the bathroom

167. Kids leaving trash and soap ALL over the bathroom floor daily!

168. Being required to walk in 2 lines to keep the kids closer to the teacher

169. Kids having to stand in one lunch line because they were being so rude to the lunch ladies they had to be monitored

170. Kids having to sit in one long line across the lunch tables instead of across from eachother

171. Kids climbing the soccer net at recess.

172. Recess violence daily = mulch throwing, hitting, kicking, pushing

173. insanity of 2 teachers out and NO subs!

174. Author Seymore Simon came and HE had to ask our kids to be quite more than once

175. All the second grade teachers yelling at them during the talent show and none of them listening

176. 26 kids kicked out of a movie for being rude

177. first grade kept after an assembly to get yelled at by the principal for being unruly

178. Assigned places in line for walking in the hallway

179. girls finding poop smashed between the toilet seat and toilet every day

180. kid secretly writing "bye bye" on the hallway white board before leaving on the last day

I have no idea how we survived. I think I blocked out such a large portion of the year, and honestly that was the only way I made it through. Thank goodness I have the BEST team in the world.

Can't wait for next year and the sweet little kindergarteners coming up. Oh what a change it will be! haha

180 Crazy Things for 180 Days! - Part 5

Part 5 of 180 Crazy Things for 180 days:

133. Boy's parents telling him to hit others

134. Boy destroying teacher's room throwing things everywhere and ripping things off the walls

135. Boy's mom going crazy on teachers when a kid was pretend fighting

136. Girl shoving teacher out of the way to get out of the school

137. on the 176th day of school a girl told the teacher "did you know your classroom is right next to mine?" haha

138. poop falling out of pants onto the floor

139. Girl showing her crotch the first day of school

140. Girl grabbing her crotch then touching another kid

141. Girl cut another girl's shirt on purpose

142. Kids refusing to go with the reading specialist, as if they had a choice

143. Boy mocking teacher when asking kids to be quiet

144. Boy stealing another boy's milk and running away with it at lunch

145. note from parent sppd=supposed

146. Girl's mom bragging about her kid and how smart they are when they are the lowest one

147. Girl leaving her things ALL across the classroom after school

148. Girl that walks like a baby giraffe

149. Last day gift: picture of student in a baggie

150. Boys hitting and kicking everyone during the talent show

151. "get your cotton pickin' hands off..."

152. Boy had to sit behind the pocket chart hidden against the wall so as not to annoy others

180 Crazy Things for 180 Days! - Part 4

Part four of 180 Crazy Things for 180 Days:

97. Boy peeing on another boy's foot

98. Boy cutting another's hair

99. Kids eating poisonous seed pods at recess - calling poison control

100. Mean girls

101. Girl laughing in the face of a kid with special needs

102. Girl writing "dam bech" on her namtag

103. Parents passing out extra snow cones to some kids on field day

104. Boy's grandma bullying the front office staff

105. screaming match with girl's mom

106. Boy refusing the bathroom during the break to be first in line, then pooping his pants on the way back to class - repeatedly!

107. "____ spit in the water fountain" - kids refused to use the water fountain ALL year because of this

108. brainstorming "jackass" for short a

109. Boy threatening to kill himself

110. boy putting boogers on EVERYONE!

111. Boy's hair being shaved into designs when told not to over and over

112. "I whip my baby back and forth" song

113. Boy sitting at his desk and eating his entire worksheet!

114. Boy throwing scissors across the room

115. Boy saying "your mom loves you naked"

116. Boy telling another boy he has "sexy dark chocolate legs"

117. Boy touching others in inappropriate places

118. "my name is Kari" song at show and tell

119. Boy calling another boy a dick

120. Boy breaking the computer headphones on purpose

121. Boy wearing a onesie to school

122. Boy saying "___ showers with girls!"

123. Girl giving Christmas gift: "this used to be my mom's but she didn't like it so now it's yours"

124. Boy telling others "all first grade teachers are fat"

125. Boy spitting in the trashcan all the time

126. Mean girls refusing to find each others names in the word search

127. Boy's "one man play" at talent show tryouts

128. Boy throwing a rock at the birds nest with eggs in it

129. Boy opening his mouth and saying "mucus" as it dribbled down his chin

130. Girls refusing to applaud for people at the talent show because they didn't get picked to be in it.

131. Boy putting so much confetti in his hair during the talent show

132. teacher requesting chid gets glasses ALL year - last day of school he shows up with some

180 Crazy Things for 180 Days! - Part 3

Part 3 of 180 Crazy Things for 180 Days:

74. Girl peeing in a water bottle

75. Girl making weapons out of paper clips and passing them out at recess

76. Girl mooning everyone at recess

77. Girl shoving a teacher out of their way at recess

78. Boy refusing to pick up an envelope when the teacher asked. Flat out saying no and walking away

79. Girl throwing a major fit and physically refusing to move

80. Boy writing "sorry you are a big fat cow" as an apology

81. Girl kicking another girl in the stomach

82. Boy throwing his jacket in the basketball hoop at recess

83. 2 girls ate glue

84. Boy asked where babies come from. teacher responded, "mommy"

85. Girl laughed at boy's mom's head covering at the holiday party

86. Girl's mom bullying the teacher!

87. Boy asking for permission to throw up

88. Girl using her belt as a whip at lunch

89. Girl throwing a fit in art as though she was possessed

90. Yelling at kids not to touch the wall then turning around and seeing the first boy in line hitting his hand repeatedly against the wall to spite the teacher

91. Girl put sticky tack in other girls hair

92. One boy FINALLY getting it on the LAST day of school "oh wait, that book rhymes"

93. Asking the kids to clean something up and finding a bigger mess after they tried

94. Boy yelling out, "IT'S SEXY TIME!"

95. Boy wearing sweat bands every day for weeks. "he looks like Richard Simmons"

96. Boy yelling out during the Fantastic Mr. Fox Play. "did y'all have fun?" "NOOOO!!!"

haha I'm cracking up just typing all these out again. Stay tuned for part 4. 2 teachers and the whole group left to go!

180 Crazy Things for 180 Days! - Part 2

Here is part two of 180 Crazy Things for 180 Crazy Days:

38. Boy threatening to kill everyone in class the first month of school

39. Girl pooping on the bathroom floor repeatedly

40. Girl's mom calling the superintendent to tattle

41. Boy leaving his group and wandering around Dewberry Farm alone

42. Girl and boy saying the eat armpit hair and drink pee

43. "the only thing that could make today better is if girls were running around in bikinis and we could run around like horses"

44. Girl bringing a cell phone to school and telling teacher it was a heart monitor

45. "can I have a piece of teacher appreciation cake since my mom brought it"

46. "gimme some chili on that" to the lunch ladies

47. Girl pushing others off the stage to be in the top row of pictures

48. Girl giving every first grade teacher a Christmas gift, except her own teacher

49. Boy pushing someone off the top of the playscape

50. Girl calling her teacher rude to her face "I'm not rude, YOU'RE RUDE!"

51. Boy dancing and grabbing his crotch at talent show tryouts

52. Boy bringing crayon outside and drawing a picture on the sidewalk

53. last day goodbyes - boy asking, "can you kiss me?" to his teacher

54. Boy writing his name in crayon on a desk

55. Boy telling the class he is "a pimp"

56. Girl picking her toes during reading group

57. Boy baby voice

58. Girl telling the kids she "hates God"

59. Girl spitting gum on the playground blacktop

60. Girl doing cartwheels into people at Kroger

61. Boy sobbing the whole way to the field trip crying, "I miss my mommy!"

62. Boy singing "down by the river and the hanky panky. Where your mama is fat and her breath is stanky"

63. Girl forging a note from her parents

64. Kids screaming out during the moment of silence at field day

65. Boy wearing girl's pink jacket and all the kids laughing about it

65. Boy wearing his huge "ring pop" style rings

66. Boy asking his teacher to tie a scarf around him to look like a halter top

67. Boy and his "boob hugs"

68. Boy jumping on the stage immediately after hearing "do not touch the stage"

69. Girl bumping into teacher on purpose as she was walking laps for time out

70. Boy stabbing girl with his finger during talent show

71. One of the boy class bullies calling a girl a bully during the talent show. Can we say calling the kettle black?

72. Boy's mom emailing 10 minutes after school is out to complain about grades.

180 Crazy Things for 180 Days! - Part 1

On the 100th day of school each first grade class came up with a list of "100 things we love about first grade". Nearing the end of the year, we were all (the teachers) just about to lose our minds with the kids being SO out of control with no way to stop them. To save our sanity, we decided to come up with a similar list, only instead of 100 things we love, it was going to be 100 crazy things that happened. We figured it would give us some good laughs since the year was almost over. Once we got started and found how easy 100 was, we decided to take it a step further. We decided that there are 180 days in the school year, so we should make a list of 180. You would be surprised how easy it was to come up with this stuff!

I've decided to post a version of this list here and just not include the identifying information. If nothing else, it will make me laugh, but maybe you can get just a glimpse of what our year was like at the same time. Feel free to laugh, some of this is crazy shit! I'm going to break this up into a series of posts, one post for each teacher's class, and then one for the whole group.

So, without further ado, part one of "180 Crazy Things for 180 Crazy days!"

1. Putting a girl in timeout only to have her mom tell her she doesn't have to listen to the teacher and can play on field day.

2. Screaming fits in the hallway - weekly!

3. Girl flat out stealing another girl's yearbook and putting it in her backpack

4. Grand Theft Auto! Boy stealing a 5th grader's motorized scooter

5. Boy spitting on his neighbor while working in class because "I wanted to"

6. Boy hiding under the library bookshelves and refusing to come out for 10 minutes

7. Boy climbing and hanging on the bookshelves in library saying "I'm climbing a mountain!"

8. Boy telling girl she should write about her mom in her treasure book. "write about how she sits home and drinks beer all day!"

9. Boy coloring ALL over his brand new white jacket in marker

10. Boy bringing pills to school in his pocket - the day after a drug free lecture!

11. Boy eating markers, telling the teacher he didn't, then showing off his bright blue tongue

12. Boy breaking a pencil over his knee while the teacher watched

13. Boy's mom passing out 15 packs of gushers to random children on field day while other kids watched

14. Boy throwing his desk as hard as he could

15. Boy splashing water all over kids at the bathroom sink - other kid's face and hair were SOPPING wet!

16. Boy stomping on another boy's foot "because I felt like it"

17. 2 girls singing a spur of the moment inappropriate song at talent show tryouts

18. Boy's note from outclass, "please seek help before next year" which of course later was changed

19. Girl dumping an entire bottle of water on a teacher's foot then walking away without a word.

20. Boy saying "Mrs. Mac is fat" to other kids

21. Repeating "no climbing on the fence" 5 times. kids come back from recess - 2 climbed the fence!

22. During story time on the carpet the first week ... boy crawling and head butting children screaming at the top of his lungs "get out of my way" over and over

23. Boy spitting his water on teacher's desk and papers because he was mad

24. Boy licking the neighboring class window on his way to the bathroom.

25. Boy galloping around the carpet making horse noises for 25 straight minutes

26. Boy yelling at lunch lady "hey lady, is there any more bread back there?!?"

27. Boy running around the room with scissors in his mouth

28. Girl peeing in her pants on purpose because she got in trouble

29. Girl ripping labeling stickers off the ONLY book she was allowed to touch all year

30. Boy kicking and hitting the walls for an extended period of time

31. Someone coloring all over the carpet and no one owning up to it

32. Boy giving a used bottle of baby lotion for Christmas - gross!

33. Boy stealing someone's boomerang on the way to recess then beating children with it.

34. Boy telling the whole class "I know where puppies come from. The mom dog poops them out!"

35. Boy's mom coming to school to yell at him in front of the class

36. Boy ripping a bat from a teacher's hand and yelling "gimme that! I want that"

37. Boy sticking crayons up his nose in art.

Insanity I tell you. Part 2 to come later!

Grand Theft Auto

I keep saying they can't do anything else that will surprise me, and yet, shit like this keeps happening:

After school today I was walking by the nurse's office when a group of teachers stopped me.

T: Hey, you have J in your class right?

me: yeah, why

T: do you happen to know if he has a motorized scooter?

me: as far as I know, no he does not

T: do you happen to know if he rode one to school today?

me: no, he definitely didn't. He was tardy because his mom brought him and then stayed for the awards ceremony at 8:30

T: oh, well we think he stole one then ...

Tracy then goes on to tell me that J has apparently stolen an older student's motorized scooter and rode it home. They got outside with the walkers and this one older kid was a little late. When she got out there she saw her scooter was gone. They looked down the road and could see J riding it way down the street. They were calling his parents to try and confirm that it was in fact stolen, and not actually his.

Um, can you say first grade grand theft auto?!?! HE FREAKING STOLE A MOTORIZED SCOOTER! Who does that?!?! I have to admit, this one actually left me in a state of complete shock. There isn't a lot that actually surprises me anymore, but this just takes the cake. I'm interested to hear tomorrow how it all turned out. I know that some teachers were suggesting we actually call the police and have them go teach him a lesson about theft, but I don't know how it all ended up playing out because I had to leave.

This is complete INSANITY I tell you. INSANITY!!!

spit

Yesterday I was sitting at my guided reading table organizing a few things while the kids worked. One little boy came up to me and reported that his neighbor had spit on him. He held up his arm, and sure enough, there was a large puddle of spit right there. So I call the neighbor up to chat:

Me: Did you spit on C?

A: *shakes head no*

Me: I'm going to ask again, did you spit on C?

A: *shakes head no*

Me: this is your last chance before I go check the cameras to see if you're lying. Did you spit on C?

A: *looks down* yeah

Me: *getting angry* why in the world would you spit on someone?!?!

A: I dunno, I just wanted to

WTF kind of kid turns to his neighbor and thinks "hey, it might be fun to spit on you right now" and then does it in the middle of class?!? OMG. Every day is something new ...

Field Day

For the past three years, field day has been one of my favorite days of the year at school. This year however, for reasons which I think have been made clear already, I was NOT looking forward to it. All in all the day turned out fine, and the kids were no more bad than normal, because at least were allowed to scream like crazies all day. There were some VERY memorable moments though:

On the way out to the "opening ceremony" for field day I was walking next to a student in Michelle's class. Out of nowhere he busts out with this awesome quote of the day: "Ms. McCormack, there is nothing that could make this day any better! Well, except if there were girls in bikinis everywhere and we were running around like horses" hahahahahaha

After everything that happened with poison control yesterday you would not believe this next story. All the kids start telling on a boy in my class saying he has candy in his pocket. Upon further inspection we find that he has pills in his pocket! He said he found them on the floor at home and thought he would bring them to school. Um he actually brought drugs to school! Keep in mind what happened yesterday ... omg crazy!

One of my students got caught shoving another student out of line, so I calmly told her she needed to sit out a round before she would be allowed to play again. She then decided to throw a monsterous baby fit. I calmly explained to her that she had two choices: 1. stop crying, miss one round, and play again or 2. continue to throw a fit and be done for the entire day. I walked away so she could make her choice and when I looked back her mom was putting her back in the line telling her it was okay, she could play! Um, wtf?!? I'm a little scared of the mom, but I went back over and told her she had time out. She said "but my mom said I could play". Um no. I'm the teacher, you listen to me. sorry dear. Seriously, what parent does that?!?!

At the end of the games we got to have snow cones at the front of the school. The kids all got their snow cone, then sat in the shade to eat and rest for 15 minutes. While they were sitting we look up and notice that a number of kids are holding packages of gushers, and lots of kids start to complain. Turns out one of my kids' parent had brought 18 packages of gushers and was letting her child choose his favorite people in first grade to give them to just then. Um, number one WE DON'T TAKE FOOD FROM STRANGERS (do we remember the drug talk yesterday?!?) and number two why would someone hand out treats to some but not all. Oh geez!

And to end the day we had to have one more drama moment. 5 kids in my class had picked up their yearbook today. They left them in the room while we went to Michelle's room to watch the movie. When we came back they had 15 minutes they were allowed to go to the other first grade classes to get kids to sign it if they wanted. Well, one of their yearbooks was gone. We searched her desk, searched her backpack, and I asked at least 3 times if anyone knew where it was. Of course no one said anything. I finally tell them all to open their backpacks as I am going to have to search them since someone has clearly stolen it. Sure enough, one little girl comes over with it just then and says "um, I was just looking at it" um no, you were not just looking at it. You just pulled it out of your backpack because you freaking STOLE it. oh my god. these kids are completely nuts!

Every day you think nothing could surprise you more, then something happens like a kid brings drugs to school haha. Wonder what Monday has in store ...