Project 365 - Week 8

Here are my shots from this week for Project 365. There were a few days this week it was harder to get a shot in because I was pretty busy (and the weather wasn't so good many of the days), but I managed.

Photoblog Obsession

I have a new obsession: photoblog. I admit it, I literally can spend hours upon hours on that site! I just LOVE looking through other people's photos for inspiration. There are so many great photographers out there with such great ideas! Plus, it's like this awesome little community. I used to think it was ridiculous that people could "make friends" online. Through whatever the medium, a game, a messenger service, etc, it just seemed unlikely to me. How can you be friends with someone you've never even met but only talked to online? Apparently, you can. I have all kinds of new photoblog friends! They comment on my pictures, and send me messages, and I look forward to hearing from them every day. Sounds weird, but it's sort of nice. Plus, apparently they don't think I suck, because they take some awesome pictures, and yet they seem to think mine are really good. That's pretty encouraging

In other news, I am a total drama queen. You know this, and I know this. I sort of had a mini mental breakdown this weekend (which was hardly anything compared to years past). I did some serious overreacting and pouted like a baby. BUT, all is fine now. No need for tears. As I mentioned, things are changing. That's sad because it was good before; but, it's good now too, and it's going to be good in the future. All is well :)

project 365 - Week 7

Here are shots from week 7 of project 365. Honestly, I'm surprised I've made it this far without missing a day. I thought for sure I would have failed by now. So far, so good though.

One day at a time

After some good mexican food and a cute movie (Valentine's Day - go see it!), with Darren ... as well as a call from a friend I was definitely not expecting to hear from today, I am feeling much better. Sorry for all the whining earlier. Life might be changing, but it's going to be okay. I just needed some time to cry about it first. Tomorrow, I'll keep putting one foot in front of the other. It's going to be okay ...

Valentines Day

Today was one of those days where I just needed to pout and feel sorry for myself. Oddly enough, it had nothing to do with it being Valentines day (which is like the most depressing holiday in the world when you don't have someone to love, or in the case of this year, even good friends to spend it with). I put my phone on silent so as to ignore all calls, and I stayed in bed, sleeping off and on, until 3:30. At that point I decided I needed to face the world. And when I got up, I found a whole bunch of people who love me!

I found a card in my mailbox from Kristen.

I found a voicemail from Ricky that made me smile.

I found a text from my mom telling me I was her valentine.

I found a voicemail from my Aunt and Uncle telling me they love me.

I found a text from my Woody saying, "happy valentines day. love you sis!"

and I found an invitation to dinner and a movie tonight from Darren.

I'm not over feeling sorry for myself just yet, but I am lucky enough that even on sad days, I know I am loved by a lot of people. That's enough to get me through the sad days and on to happier ones.

Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same ...

It's been awhile since I've posted anything here other than photos or recipes. I haven't been spending much time at home lately so I just haven't had a lot of time to sit and blog.

I'm just going to go with a stream of conscious format for this post. I have a lot to write, but not a lot I can explain or really want to go into details about, so forgive me if this makes little sense to you. Blogging is mostly for my benefit, the fact that you read it doesn't change that. Sometimes I post for the people who read, and sometimes I post for me. This one is for me.

Life, it seems, is all about choices and change. Two of the things I am the absolute worst at. Every day you make choices, be it small ones or big ones, and then life plays out as a result of those choices. Recently, I have done a pretty good job at going with the flow and letting changes roll of my back. But today, today I just can't seem to get myself together.

Worrying helps nothing, and yet it is near impossible not to worry. I've been pretty happy with the way things have been going the past few months. Despite some pretty major hurdles and speed bumps, I've really been enjoying my life. I can't help that worry that in light of some new circumstances, everything that was good before is about to change. I have been assured that it will not change completely, but it will change, that much is certain. I worry that this change (as huge as it seems in my head, or as small as it potentially could be) will be enough to throw me off kilter for awhile. I worry that I'm about to take a few steps backwards here.

Sometimes you have to make a choice between different things. Making a choice means that you have to lose one thing. What if ultimately though, because of the choice you made and life taking some unexpected turns, you lose both things? What if both things were among the most important in your life? What if losing one was hard, but losing both is impossible? I made choices and I accepted the consequences for those as they came. I guess I'll accept whatever comes from this as well. If I could do it all again, I still wouldn't change a thing.

Today I am worrying. Today I cannot pull myself together. Today I am sad.

Tomorrow (or maybe in a few more "tomorrows") I will wake up and realize it is fine. It's probably not nearly as bad as I'm making it out to be in my head. It's probably nothing. Different? of course. But bad? maybe not. Time will tell ...

Plus, I'm still looking ahead. I have many big things in store. I'm trying to keep focused on that, it makes today easier.

Project 365 - Week 6

It's been a very busy, but really fun weekend. Up until this afternoon, I have not been home and had time to just sit at all. Then of course in the only time I had to sit around and do nothing, I decided to bake and decorate some cookies. I'll post about that tomorrow though, since that's when I'm going to finish up the decorating.

Here are my shots from this week:

With all the rain this week I wasn't able to get out and take a bunch of pictures :( Because of that, I'm not really in love with any of these, but I still managed to take one a day and that's the whole point. As always, check out my photoblog to see them up close and read about them.

4 Cheese Baked Ziti

I've become quite the baker recently, but cooking? Cooking is not really my thing. It's not that I don't like to cook, it's that I don't. I don't really like to eat the same thing more than one day in a row (and honestly, I don't even like leftovers that much anyway, they just don't taste the same) and it is hard to cook just one serving of anything. It takes so much time, and there is so little product. Plus, you have to buy so much of each ingredient only to use a little, so a lot of food ends up going bad before it gets used again. For that reason, I don't often cook.

Last night was bunco night, and it was my month to host (by host I mean provide the food at someone else's house since I can't exactly have people over here). There were going to be 8 people there last night, so I had to come up with a dinner for 8 people. Let me tell you, I was nervous! What if what I made turned out badly and no one liked it?!? On top of worrying if my meal would turn out good, I had to make sure it was vegetarian for me, but something others would like as well (so nothing anyone would think was "weird" haha). So, I had decided I needed to find a pasta dish because that would be easy to make, easy to make for a group, easy to transport, and something everyone would like. I decided on a 4 cheese baked ziti and it turned out delicious! It wasn't hard to make at all and everyone LOVED it! :) They even asked for the recipe. yay! This meal was by NO means healthy, so I wouldn't make it often, but it was very tasty. I'd make it again for sure

4 Cheese Baked Ziti

Ingredients:

1 package (16oz) ziti

2 cartons (10oz each) refrigerated Alfredo sauce

1 cup (8oz) sour cream

2 eggs, lightly beaten

1 carton (15 oz ricotta cheese)

1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese, divided

1/2 cup grated Romano cheese

1/4 cup minced fresh parsley

1 3/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Directions:

Cook pasta according to package directions; drain and return to pan. Stir in Alfredo sauce and sour cream. Spoon half into a lightly greased 3 qt baking dish.

Combine the eggs, ricotta cheese, 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, Romano cheese, and parsley; spread over pasta. Top with remaining mixture; sprinkle with mozzarella and remaining Parmesan.

Cook and bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes. Uncover; bake 5-10 minutes longer or until bubbly. Makes 12 servings.

Peace

I admit it. I am the girl that is ALWAYS worried about something. Honestly, I think I have been known to make up things to worry about when there are no real worries to be found. It seems I always have to be worrying about something, it's just who I am.

At least, that is who I have always been ... right up until now.

Recently there has been more than one area of my life that have pretty much completely blown up in my face. Normally, this would have caused me to crawl in the back corner of my closet, curl up in a ball, and cry (I wish I was kidding, but I'm not). Under normal circumstances, my life right now would be way to much for me to handle stress and worry-wise. And yet, here I am not worried at all. I feel like I should be freaking out, but I can't even force myself to worry about it. I'm not upset; I'm not stressed; I'm not worried; I'm not even feeling unsure. I feel a complete and total sense of peace. Looking back over the past year (or so) I can tell you that I have honestly been adequately prepared for exactly what my life is right now, and I have complete faith that I am prepared (or am being prepared) for the future, whatever it may be. There is uncertainty out the wazoo, and more major changes than I can count in situations once thought to be the most stable, and yet somehow, I feel completely at peace.

Not only am I not stressed about the future, but I'm not even stressed about my day to day life. This is unheard of! I can tell you right now, this sense of peace is not from me. It's not; there is no way it can be. By nature, I am a worrier. Feeling this much peace in light of unknown circumstances is in no way coming from me. That's all God. I'd been praying about it, and I know the ladies from my bible study had been praying for me about it, and I'm telling you, God answered my prayers. He filled me with a complete and total sense of peace that I can't even begin to understand. Logically, I see what is going on, and what challenges are looming ahead, but somehow I know inside that it's nothing to concern myself with. I know that come what may, I'm going to be okay, or even better than okay. For the first time in my entire life, I'm taking it one step at a time. I'm concentrating on what I have to do TODAY, and not worrying about the rest. This must sound like a lot of vague mumbo jumbo to you (I'll explain more later when I can) but the fact of the matter is everything stable in my life fell out from under me in the past 5 months and I feel completely calm, and even happy about it. It's strange ... very strange, but it's great. Who knew this is what it feels like when you actually handle life?!? haha

I read this in my daily devotional yesterday and it was so fitting:

Follow Me one step at a time. That is all I require of you. In fact, that is the only way to move through this space/time world. You see huge mountains looming and you start wondering how you are going to scale those heights. Meanwhile, because you're not looking where you're going you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now. As I help you get back on your feet you tell me how worried you are about the cliffs up ahead. But you don't know what will happen today, much less tomorrow. Our path may take an abrupt turn, leading you away from those mountains. There may be an easier way up the mountain than is visible from this distance. If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will equip you thoroughly for that strenuous climb. I will even give my angles charge over you to preserve you in all your ways.

Keep your mind on the present journey, enjoying my presence. Walk by faith, not by sight, trusting Me to open up the way before you.

Project 365 - Week 5

Here are my shots from last week:

Sorry I didn't get them posted on Sunday. I've been busy ... if you missed my post on facebook, I have a new kindle. It's pretty much taking up any spare moment I am not working or with friends haha