New Years

New years is a holiday I can really get behind (and there are a lot of holidays I can't say that about haha). Of course, having someone to kiss at midnight would make this holiday exponentially better, but even without that, it's one of my favorites. :-P

I love new years because it's a chance to start over. I know it's just another day, but the idea of a new year, a blank slate, and a chance to get things right, makes me feel very happy inside. It's a chance to start fresh, and I have a serious love for the prospect of wiping the slate clean because more often than not, I find that I feel a need to just start all over in different aspects of my life. Now, I do realize that I could do that any day of the year, but something about January 1st just feels different. Maybe it's that everyone has a blank slate, or maybe it's just that others understand when you decide to start over. I don't know ... hard to explain.

Goo Goo Dolls - Better Days

And you asked me what I want this year

and I try to make this kind and clear

just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

'cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings

and designer love and empty things

just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud

'cause everyone's forgiven now

'cause tonight's the night the world begins again

Here's looking toward a WONDERFUL 2010, filled with possibility and adventure.

Happy New Year!

photo from Notebookdoodles

Photoshop - color

I spent my afternoon today playing with photoshop. What should I have been doing? Oh, just grading multiple sets of writing papers and writing report card comments ... oh well. I'm new at this whole photoshop thing and there are a lot of things I want to learn how to do, I just never seem to have time to sit down and learn it. Today, I played around with color.

LOVE it! :)

Resolutions

Usually around the first of December I start thinking about the coming year and what I want to accomplish. I want my resolutions to be meaningful, to be things that will add value to my life, and to be things that are actually within my reach. Success is a big key here ... I don't like to fail at things.

Each year (starting in 2004) I have written a letter to myself giving an overview of the previous year, and stating my goals for the next year. At the end of the year it's interesting to look back and see how much was accomplished before making goals for the next year. It's also interesting reading back over the old ones to see how life has changed and remember what I was like each year. 5 years ago I wrote this (5 years?!? Can we just hit pause for awhile, time is going WAY too quickly!!):

Every year I make it a goal of mine to try to be a better person than I was in the previous year ... you know, to help someone or do something that makes a difference. I mean really, it's always good to strive to be better right?

Every year since then I've tried to have that same goal, and I can honestly say this year I am ending the year a better person than I started. In fact, the word better doesn't even begin to describe the night and day difference from a year ago and today. That definitely could not be said of each of the years between then and now. This year, I'm pretty happy with the person I have started to become.

So this year, after much thought, I have landed on a few goals for the coming year (or at least a few I am willing to share publicly with you):

- volunteer at least once a month

- read through the entire bible

- try at least one new thing each month (could be as simple as a new type of food, restaurant, activity, etc)

I'm pretty happy with these goals. They are measurable, I think each one is attainable, and each will add value to my life. Each one will help me to become a better person than I was the year before, and that is the ultimate goal.

I have one more goal, which I'm not sure is entirely attainable, but I want to make it a goal anyway. It will be my, "give it my best shot" goal because it most likely will not be 100% successful, but I'm going to make the effort anyway. I am going to (attempt to) participate in Project 365. The idea is to take at least one photo every day for a year. This requires actually getting out and taking pictures, so it's really a pretty lofty goal, but I'm going to give it a shot. I think it could be really neat to look back on a years worth of photos and remember where I was and what I was doing when I took them. As an added bonus, hopefully my photography skills will improve, and I'll get more comfortable with using my new (or not so much new anymore haha) camera with the daily use.

4 years ago I wrote this, and I swear I could have written the same thing today:

Time this year sure has flown by. Sometimes I wish I could just make it stand still for awhile. Give me more time to do the things I want ... It's like you blink and a whole year has gone by.

I swear each year goes by faster than the one before! Where does the time go? I wish there was a pause button for life. There are a lot of changes in store for this coming year, and while I am excited at the prospect, I also wish I could just hit pause for awhile and soak in every minute of this life I have right now. Change can be a good thing, but there are some things I don't want to change. There are some things, and some people, that I want to stay the same forever. Nothing can stay the same forever, I know this ... I'm just not ready to let go of it all yet. And, who's to say what will happen this year ... yes, a pause button would be nice...

However, things are looking up :)

Peanut Butter Cupcakes

I got a new KitchenAid stand mixer for Christmas and couldn't wait to try it out. What better excuse to make cupcakes than using my new mixer?!? I have gotten to the point that I have so many cupcake recipes I want to try that it is difficult to decide on just one to bake at a time. I went back and forth, and finally decided on peanut butter cupcakes this week. These are officially my favorite cupcakes EVER! Seriously, yum!

Peanut Butter Cupcakes with Fluffernutter Frosting

Next time I make these (oh, and there will be a next time!), I'll make a little more frosting. I had enough to cover the batch, but just barely. Plus, they would look much prettier if they had a larger dome of frosting on the top.

And let me just say, baking is SO much easier with my new mixer! I am in love! You just put the ingredients in and walk away to let it mix; it's wonderful! Thanks, Mom! :)

So here's the recipe in case you want to try these too. And trust me, if you like peanut butter, you NEED to try these. It's like a delicious peanut butter explosion in your mouth. yuuummm!

Ingredients:

1 cup flour

1 t baking powder

1/4 t salt

6 T unsalted butter, room temperature

3/4 cup smooth peanut butter

1 cup packed dark brown sugar

1 large egg

1 t vanilla extract

1/2 cup milk

milk chocolate chips

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line 12 standard muffin cups with paper liners. Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a small bowl; set aside

In a bowl of a mixer, on medium speed, beat the butter, peanut butter, and brown sugar until smoothly blended and lightened in color, about 1 minute. Scrape down bowl and add egg and vanilla. Beat for 1 minute until batter is smooth. On low speed, alternately add flour mixture in 3 additions and milk in 2 additions, starting and ending with flour. Mix until flour is incorporated and batter is smooth.

Fill each paper liner with a generous 1/4 cup of batter. Bake until tops feel firm and are lightly browned, and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 20 minutes.

Remove cupcakes fro oven and place several chocolate chips on top of each. Allow chocolate to soften enough to spread. Spread to cover top of cupcakes and allow to cool completely before frosting.

Frosting Ingredients:

1 cup marshmallow fluff

1/2 cup smooth peanut butter

1/3 cup butter, softened

1/4 t vanilla

1/4 t salt

1 1/3 cup powdered sugar

1-2 T milk

Directions:

In mixer bowl, on low speed, combine fluff, peanut butter, butter, vanilla, and salt until blended. Scrape down bowl, and add powdered sugar. Beat until blended. Add just enough milk to make frosting the desired consistency.

It's better to give ...

For Christmas, I made this for my mom:

By made, I mean I took the black and white pictures, bought a frame, picked out a mat, had it cut to size, then put it all together. I think it turned out wonderfully!

It took FOREVER to find a picture for the letter "m" (seriously, I drove around for something like 4 hours one day just trying to find something that would work), and I had a heck of a time finding a frame that would be long enough, but not too wide either. But, in the end, it came together nicely (I actually wanted to keep it for myself I liked it so much haha!).

I was pretty excited to give her this; I was sure she was going to love it. Sure enough, she's called like 4 people already this morning and explained it to them in detail. I love when you give someone something that you know they really love.

I did good this year :) It is definitely better to give than receive (that's not to say I didn't like receiving all the wonderful things I got this morning too hehe).

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Have a blessed day :)

Luke 2:8-20

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shown around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His favor rests."

When the angles had eft them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Treasure

This verse was really laid on my heart a few months ago and it's resurfaced a number of times since then so I've done a lot of thinking about it:

Matthew 6:19-21

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

What does my "treasure" consist of? That's simple: time and money. And where is my treasure? That one wasn't as easy to answer, and the answer didn't really make me feel very good. My time and money are mostly used for selfish purposes. For the most part, I spend my money on a bunch of things for myself that I don't need, and I spend my time doing a whole lot of nothing. When I really stopped to think about this, I felt awful inside. If I am hoarding all my treasure for myself does that mean that is where my heart is too? Am I really that self centered? Is that really the most important thing in my life? It shouldn't be.

What should my time and money be spent on then? Where do I ultimately want my heart to be? That's easy: with Jesus. If He is really the center of my life, and if I am really living my life for Him, then my treasure should be a representation of that. When I stopped to really think about this I discovered this disconnect between what I want my life focus to be, and what it was in reality. Something had to be done about this.

So, I started thinking. What were some things I could do to make sure that I am investing my treasure in places that put Jesus into the center of my life. The first was easy. I needed to start giving money to my church. I don't think it's necessary to talk much about this because it really isn't anyones business but mine what I give, but the point is, I made a conscious effort to start giving much more. It was a bit scary for me at first because I've never dropped more than a $20 in the offering plate, but when it came down to it, I decided that I would much rather use my money to further the kingdom of God, than to buy something stupid for myself. It was scary at first, but now, months later, I'm not even sure why. I have the money to give, I'm not scraping by. God has provided much for me and that is a pretty simple and straightforward way to give back to Him. I feel like my money is being used for a purpose now, and every week I smile when I drop that check into the offering plate.

Around Christmas it is SO easy to find ways to help others around you who are not as fortunate. I have had more fun picking out gifts for children to donate, through Toys for Tots at school and Gifts of Love at church, than anything! My heart is so full knowing that I am doing my part to help make some less fortunate children have a special Christmas. It started with just one gift, but I felt so good after buying that first one it sort of snowballed. Let's just say I've bought a lot of gifts at this point ... haha! It makes me very happy to think about some kids opening those things I purchased on Christmas, and smiling. That's what it's all about. This is the first Christmas I think I have the right kind of spirit. Sure I'm good at Christmas spirit, I love the lights, the music etc., but this year, more than anything, I feel like I've finally got the real point.

So, what about my time? I noticed recently that I have become very lazy. When I leave work, I don't want to do anything but lay on the couch and watch tv or read. What's the point of life if you aren't living it? So again I had to stop and think, what could I do with my time that would have a positive impact on those around me? I mean, isn't that what it's all about; showing God's love to others through our actions?

So, I started signing up to volunteer for whatever I could. Here's what I've got so far; it's not much, but it's only the beginning:

When a situation came up recently to give a little time to mentor a child who I absolutely adore, I jumped right on it. Why can't I give up some time every week to love on and encourage a kid who could benefit from it? There is no reason why I couldn't ... so now I am.

I volunteered at the Sugar Land Town Square Christmas tree lighting event a few weeks ago and spent 3 (freezing cold!) hours passing out jingle bell bracelets to children. I watched child after child's eyes light up and twinkle as I offered them a free bracelet. As cold as I was, it was worth every freezing cold minute to get to share God's love to those children in such a simple way.

Last weekend, I volunteered at the Second Mile Mission Gifts of Love Christmas Party at my church. Second Mile is an organization that provides food, clothing, etc to those who need it. At Christmas my church collects toys and gifts for the organization. Then, we sponsor a party where families get to come in and pick out gifts for each other so they leave with a gift for each person in the family. I enjoyed it so much! I was able to spend the morning with 2 adorable little boys (one who was about 3 years old who kept screaming "this is the best day of my life" over and over and over!), helping them pick out and wrap gifts for their mom and dad. Then we worked on some crafts, ate some cookies, and played on the moon walk. It was such a blessing to be able to minister to those families that way.

I've got something else in the works for this coming year as well, but you'll have to stay tuned for part two. There is SO much more to come!

Why am I sharing this with you? Well, because I can ... and I like to blog! haha. In all honesty, I am SO excited to see how God is going to use me in the coming months, now that I am making a conscious effort to invest my treasure in what really matters!

Lights

Christmas = Love

With Us

With Christmas coming up, at church we have been talking about the reason we celebrate (imagine that, a church talking about the birth of Jesus around Christmas lol). In my ABF, Kathy had a really great message yesterday that sort of sunk in a little deeper than what I had heard or thought about before.
We've all heard the story of the star, the three wise men, and the baby born in the manger. Every year we celebrate His birth on Christmas, but why? It's not that I haven't thought about it before, but I always thought about it in the sense that I love Jesus, and He is my Savior, so I'm going to celebrate the day He was born. Nothing wrong with that, it's all true, it's just there's more.
What really sunk in to me this weekend was the reason I am celebrating Jesus' birth is that this is the day He came to be with me. God, who placed every star in the sky and knows them each by name (Psalm 147:4), left Heaven (would you ever want to leave there, I sure wouldn't!), and came to this world to physically be with us. He left his perfect home to come to an imperfect world, be mocked, tormented, laughed at, hurt, and abused ... all to be with us. Let that sink in. He knows what the world is like, He lived it! He understands what we are going through, because He lived it. The God of the world walked here on this earth because He loved us so much He wanted to physically be with us. And when it was time for Him to leave, He didn't leave us alone. He left us with a piece of him. He left us with the Holy Spirit, who is still, to this day, physically with us. God is with us. Got that?
So on Christmas we celebrate the day our Savior was born. We celebrate the day he came to be with us. We celebrate, for because of Him, we are NEVER alone. NEVER!
Kathy made a really good point I want to share here: We are celebrating a day that our Savior came into this world to be with us so we are never alone, so feeling lonely around the holiday sort of defeats the whole purpose of the celebration.
This year I am spending Christmas with two people in my life who I love dearly. But, there are others who I am so used to spending the holiday with that won't be able to be here this year. For one reason or another they can't make it and aren't coming. I've spent a good deal of time moping around about this. I told my mom it seems depressing, it seems lonely. Feeling lonely defeats the purpose, so I'm done with that. I am celebrating that I am NEVER alone by choosing not to feel lonely. And, I know am blessed to have my mom and brother to spend the holiday with, even if it is just the three of us.
We listened to this song in my ABF. It is mesmerizingly beautiful... if you have a few minutes to sit still and let it sink in, please do. It really is beautiful, and is exactly the message we need to remember at Christmas.

Fall Leaves

Seriously, has anyone else been amazed by how beautiful it has been this fall?!? Texas is definitely not known for having a fall season; and the leaves definitely do not usually change to beautiful colors. They go from green to brown, and that's about it. I don't know what it was about this year, but it's been different. Everywhere I go, I am drawn to the beautiful colors of the trees. I snapped this picture this morning. Who knew Texas could look like this?!?

leaves as bright as fire

Mint Chocolate Puddles

I may have just made the best cookies in the entire world! I am not even kidding here ... if you like Andes mints, even half as much as I do, then you need to run, not walk, to the nearest store and get the ingredients to make these. Seriously, do it, you won't be disappointed.

Mint Chocolate Puddles

Oh my gosh these cookies are delicious! Quite possibly the best thing I have ever baked in my entire life. But of course, I LOVE LOVE LOVE chocolate mint! I think the best way to describe these is like a thin mint girl scout cookie, but more thick and chewy. WAY better than a thin mint if you ask me (and thin mints are delicious!)

Ingredients:

12 T butter

1 1/2 cups brown sugar

2 T water

2 cups semi sweet chocolate chips

2 eggs

2 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1 1/4 t baking soda

1/2 t salt

2 packages (4.5 oz) Andes Mints

Directions:

In a saucepan over medium heat, cook the sugar, butter, and water, stirring occasionally until melted. Remove from heat, stir in chocolate chips until melted, set aside to cool for 10 minutes. Pour chocolate mixture into large bowl and beat in eggs, one at a time. Combine flour, baking soda, and salt. Stir into the chocolate mixture. Refrigerate for at least an hour.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease cookie sheets. Roll cookie dough into walnut size balls and place about 2 inches apart on cookie sheet. Bake 8-10 minutes. When cookies come out of oven press one mint on top of each cookie, let sit for one minute, then use the back of a spoon to swirl the melted chocolate around. Let cool, and enjoy!

(makes about 40 cookies)

So, go make these ... right now!

Clutter

So far my plan to stop being a hoarder is going quite well! I have cleaned out my entire bathroom of all the stuff I don't need or use (really, when will I EVER use a hair crimper again?!?! Actually, why did I even use one in the first place haha!!), as well as my desk area, one huge tub under my bed, and half my closet. I've thrown away six 30 gallon garbage bags of stuff so far. If I haven't seen it or used it in the past year, it's gone. Seriously ... WAY too much stuff! If I lived in a house this would be a good time for a garage sale, but alas I have nowhere to have a sale, so it's all just going in the trash. I feel a little wasteful, but I'm taking some clothes and stuff to Goodwill, so I guess it's okay.

Also, if you don't read the above blog, you should. That is all.

The in-between

It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's the place in between that we fear ... it's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to. ~Marilyn Ferguson

I sort of feel like Linus. It's scary when there's nothing to hold on to. But, what if you didn't have to let go completely? What if you had someone's hand to hold when you let go of that trapeze? What if you didn't have to give up your security blanket after all? Would that make it less scary? Would that make it more exciting?

I'll keep you posted. Things are looking up :)

Patience

The other night I went to play bunco (it's one of my many old lady hobbies, don't judge haha) and we were playing at this gift store that one of the ladies owns, so that we could mix in a little Christmas shopping while we were there. On my way back to the bathroom, in the back room of the store, there was a white board with this written on it:

God makes a promise

Faith believes it

Hope anticipates it

Patience quietly awaits it

I stopped to read over it a few times. I loved it enough I took out my phone and jotted it down in the notes app so that I would remember it later. And now, I am sharing it with you.

It's the patience part that I struggle with. In a world of instant gratification, where we are so used to getting everything we want exactly when we want it, quietly waiting on God's promises can seem impossibly hard. I'm working on it though ...

I read another quote in a book I've been reading recently (Catching Fireflies by Patsy Clairemont is a great quick read about finding God's light in different places if you're interested) that ties in well:

Do what you can and then trust God with the rest.

There are a lot of pretty major things I am waiting on at the present time. Every time I start to get stressed because I can't get things to fall into place quickly enough (which trust me, is quite often!), I remind myself of this quote. It reminds me that all I have to do is my part, do what I can, and then sit back and wait and trust God to take care of the rest. He hasn't failed me yet.

Life Change

I went back and forth about blogging about this, but finally decided that maybe it would help someone else to hear it, so I'm going to go ahead and put it out there.

Over the past year my life has changed drastically. I haven't moved, I haven't gotten a new job, I didn't get married or have any kids, and no one close to me has passed away; and yet, my life as a whole has changed in a huge way. My life has changed because of Jesus.

In high school I went to church every week, went on the trips with my church, volunteered through the church, and wore my Jesus shirts to school. I did all these things, and yet I was pretty quiet about the whole thing. I was scared to share Jesus with other people. I was afraid of being judged. I guess that's pretty common among teenagers. Right as high school was ending, I made the decision to be baptized. I am almost embarrassed to admit that the reason I waited so long was I was worried about what others would think of me. I was scared to walk to the front of the church during the invitation. I was scared that others would judge me because it had taken me so long to get it together. My whole life was about being scared of what others would think. And yet, I finally made that step. I was baptized the summer before college and I went to college on fire for God.

Once I got to college, somewhere along the line, I lost what was important to me. I started to have a lot more "where were you God?" moments. I didn't think He was listening to me. I didn't think He cared. Why was I so unhappy and why did things work out the way they did if He was there? Why would he let that happen? I had a lot of questions, a lot of accusations really, but no answers. I was very lost. It reached a point that I just gave up trying to get it back, it didn't seem worth it to me. I stopped going to church and I stopped praying. It wasn't that I didn't believe, I just felt abandoned.

This went on for years. And during those years, looking back, my life was a mess. The word mess doesn't even really begin to describe it, but there is no need to go into details. Sure, I made good grades in school, I worked hard, I had good friends, and a family that loved me, but I was seriously unhappy and I spent much of my life lying to people about it. The hole I was digging for myself just got deeper and deeper. It felt like there was no way out. I began to think that it was just normal to be sad all the time. I found myself shocked when someone would say the last time they cried was months ago. I thought it was normal to cry every day over nothing. I started to think that was all there was to life. I started to think that life sucks and I should just get used to it.

And then, I met Amy. Amy the beautiful little 7 year old in my first grade class. Amy had seen me at church ONE time (the only time I had been in the past year to be exact) and she bounded into my classroom in August thrilled to have a teacher who went to her church. I couldn't break it to her that I didn't really go there, I had just been that one random time, so I didn't. I let her go on believing I went to her church every week, when in fact I didn't. Eventually, she started to come to school every Monday and ask me what I thought of the sermon from the day before. All of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. When I was in high school, my church was filled with ladies who were my spiritual role models. Wonderful ladies who I looked up to, whose faith was so strong that it radiated from them. I wanted what they had. To Amy, I was that person. And I had two choices: I could get my act together and be a positive roll model for her, or I could screw it up. So, I started going back to church. It took God using a 7 year old child to get me back on track. Isn't it funny how God does that?

Since last January I became a member at my current church. I started attending service every week without fail. I joined a bible study, met wonderful ladies who hold me accountable, pray for me, and support me. I volunteered with vacation bible school, which opened the door to becoming a Sunday school teacher. I joined my church photography team ... the list goes on. To sum it up, I found ways to get involved and give my time back to God. I'm not really sure the exact moment it happened, because I didn't notice it along the way, but somewhere along the line I started to enjoy my life. I stopped crying all the time, moping about, and focusing on the bad things. I started to see my life through God's eyes, and what a difference it made!

My life has changed in a HUGE way this year! For the first time in years I am really honestly happy. My life has always been very blessed. I never failed to see that. It just got to the point that the bad things in my head outweighed the good. Now I see that was all in my head. I was lost. I was missing the most important thing. What I needed, was Jesus. The outpouring of His love over me has changed my life this year, and I don't ever want to go back to place I was in before.

So what made me think of all this? Each year I write myself a letter around new years as an overview of the year before and to list my goals for the next year. I pulled out a stack of those letters this week and read over them from the past 5 years. Each one was worse than the one before! Then, last year I wrote this:

I'm a mess, that's all there is to it. I don't know where to go from here. I want to be happy, I just don't know how.

That sort of broke my heart to read. I was so sad, and I remember it so well. And it hit me, for the first time in at least 5 years, I am happy. Things aren't perfect, nor will they ever be, but the blessings in my life far outweigh anything bad. I have the right attitude now and that makes all the difference. And why have things changed? It's not because of any major life change. No new place to live, no new job, no new friends, etc. It's because of the wonderful grace of God.

So why am I sharing this with you? I don't want to be the person who tells others what to do, and I don't ever want to shove anything down anyone's throat, but I'm not the scared little girl I was in high school who was too afraid to be judged to share what she feels. Jesus changed my life, and maybe you need to hear that He can change yours too. Maybe you need to hear that it's not normal to cry every day, that it's not normal to be sad all the time for no reason. Maybe you need to hear that there is a way out of the hole you are digging. Because I promise, there is. He is there, He listens, and He will lift you out if you only let him.

1 Peter 5:10

After you have suffered a little while, our God, who is full of kindness through Christ, will forgive you his eternal glory. He personally will come and pick you up, and set you firmly in place, and make you stronger than ever.

What a promise! If you let Him, He will pick you up. He stands at the door and knocks waiting for you to open it (Revelation 3:20). All you have to do is answer. Maybe you need to hear that. Maybe someone you know needs to hear that. Maybe not, but I wanted to share anyway.

I'm confident in the person I am and what I believe. And for the first time ever, I'm not afraid to share it. My life is the way it is for a reason, and I don't want anyone I love to miss out on the blessings from God because they aren't aware. I would hate for someone I love to miss out on something so wonderful because I wasn't bold enough to speak it. So, for the time being, in my own little corner of the internet here, I am going to share with you as I feel led. Take it or leave it (but I sure hope you take it!) :)

Are you a hoarder?

Are you a hoarder? Because I sure am. I have a real problem with holding on to EVERY little thing! Anytime I try to go through things to get rid of stuff I find myself saying over and over, "but, what if ...." and then I wind up keeping it all. I have boxes of things I haven't seen or used in YEARS, so what am I holding on to it for? "what if ..."

Did you know that you can be a people hoarder too? Holding on to people that only bring you down, because you are too afraid to let them go just in case you need them someday. Unfortunately, I've fallen prey to this as well; however, I think I am slowly getting better about it.

At the Women of Faith conference, one of the speakers, Dr. Henry Cloud, had something to say about this. I felt it applied so much to my life, and after spending some time thinking about it, I want to share it with you too:

We are afraid that the world (read: God) will not provide for us, the things that we need, on the day that we need them. So, we hoard. We hold on to things thinking we may need them someday even though they are of no use to us today. We hold on to people because we are too afraid to let go; too afraid that when we need someone, no one will be there. But sometimes we need to let those things go because they are only weighing us down. As hard as it may seem to let go of things or people in our lives, if they aren't adding to our current life, they aren't worth holding on to. And on the day that we need them? God will provide. That's what He does; He provides.

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart

Matthew 7:7

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

1 John 5:14-15

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him.

God has always provided for me what I needed in the past. I have no doubt that certain people have been placed in my life on certain occasions, by God, to help me get through times that are tough. And, He has always blessed me with the means to get the "stuff" I needed when it was necessary. If He has always provided for me in the past, why wouldn't I believe He will continue to provide for me in the future?

I think it's our job to prune away what is unnecessary, be it people or things, to leave room for God to provide for us at the appropriate times. As I stated before, I am a hoarder ... but, I don't want to be ... there's no reason for it. My goal over the next few months is to rid myself of everything unnecessary in my life. All the things that fill up space, clutter my life, or drag me down are going out the window. I'm going to get my life cleaned up a bit. It scares me a little ... but if it wasn't scary, then it wouldn't be worthwhile ... and I honestly believe that.

Classroom iPods

So, my dad rocks and decided to purchase 2 iPod touches for me to use in my classroom! They arrived in the mail on Wednesday, so I spent the majority of that night getting everything ready so I could start using them first thing on Thursday. I didn't waste any time haha.

I am using these touches as a tool to improve students' reading fluency. I wish I could take credit for this idea (because it's pretty much the best idea ever) but my dad told me about a teacher who had done it and the results they had seen. The students get to use the voice memos app to record themselves reading fluency passages. They get to record 3 times, listen to each, choose their best, then they load it onto the computer and it automatically copies into a folder with their name on it, thus creating a reading portfolio for each student. Super easy, very straightforward data, and the kids LOVE it!

So, Thursday morning I am about to introduce these to my class when my principal walks in for one of my informal walkthroughs. I'm thinking to myself that this is PERFECT because she's about to see something really awesome I'm doing with my class that no one else is. So I start the lesson and it pretty much goes wonderfully. The kids are talking about fluency, why it's important, what it means, and relating it to the author study we have been working on (which was an added bonus because I hadn't even thought to relate it to that). They were SO excited about the whole thing! My principal seemed pretty impressed (never hurts haha).

I got the kids going on their Daily 5 choices and I called the first 2 kids to me to use the iPods. I showed them one time what to do, they understood immediately (because it really is incredibly easy) and they went to town. They each took about 10 minutes to sit in the hallway and record and listen to themselves 3 times. After the kids had recorded 3 times they came in to me, I showed them how to hook it up to the computer and change the title to have their name, and that's it. It's that easy!

The best part was that even in the very first day, I was able to see how it can really help them. I had 8 kids use them and multiple kids were shocked to hear how choppy their reading was. They had no idea because it is very hard for a kid to focus on decoding the words, understanding the story, and reading fluently. Once they realized what they sounded like, they worked really hard to make it better. In just 3 recordings you could tell a world of difference from the first to the last.

The great thing about this is that once I have shown each student how to do it once, they can do it all on their own. I'll set up a schedule for the iPods, and when it is their turn they will do everything. I don't have to do any extra work (other than listen to the recordings later on) and I have this great data to show their progress with reading fluency. I am SO excited to see where this leads in my classroom. Plus, I've already found a BUNCH of great educational apps that I can add on once the kids get the hang of the recording part.

Lessons Learned

I was talking to someone earlier about how I had been taking my kids outside more than once to play in the snow today. Their response was, "don't you have things you need to be teaching them?"

Don't I have things I need to be teaching them? Of course! Do you know what I taught my 8 year olds today? I taught them:

- work is not the most important thing in life

- people can surprise you

- when an opportunity presents itself, you have to take it before it is too late

- no matter how old you are, you are never too old to act silly

- life is supposed to be enjoyed

- to quote the Zac Brown Band, "it's the little things in life that mean the most"

- some people will do whatever they can to make you smile

and, I taught them that I really care about each of them. I taught them that I care enough that I put their happiness and what they wanted above what "needed to get done". I taught them that their opinions matter, and that they are important to me.

So, did I teach them the 3 branches of government today? No, I didn't. But you know what? I think I taught them more than enough for one day. We'll get to the 3 branches on Monday ...

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!!

Today was one of the best, if not the best, days of this school year. It started snowing just as school was starting at 8am and it never let up. It's still snowing right now. I'm not talking little snow flakes, I'm talking monster sized snow flakes. The kind that are so big that when you look out the window all you can see is white. Today was one day I was glad that you can see out those big windows by the library from my classroom. I was able to watch it snow ALL day! I felt like a kid at Christmas. It was wonderful!

Fairly early in the morning I had my kids put on their coats and we went outside to catch snowflakes on our tongues and dance around in the snow. You should have heard the squeals of delight. Most of them had never seen snow like that before (yeah we got a little last year, but it was nothing like this). The whole thing made my heart smile :) I ended up taking them outside 2 more times later in the day just to run around and feel the snow for a few minutes. They were on top of the world all day! I got so many hugs and "this is the best day of my life, thanks Ms. McCormack" comments. I LOVE those kids to death! I wish I could share pictures here, but I can't post pictures of students on a public blog. Just imagine 22 kids running, screaming, dancing, and sticking out their tongues while staring up at the sky haha.

In the classroom we did minimal work. I mean really, I didn't want to be in school today and I wanted to sit and watch the snow fall all day, so I KNOW those kids felt the same way! We listened to a lot of Christmas music, sang along, and had a blast.

Christmas music, kids singing, laughing, and smiling, and snow ... what could be better than that? I swear the kids eyes just sparkled a bit more than normal today. There is something that feels very magical about snow falling. :)

It is so sad to me to think that tomorrow I will wake up and it will all be over. It will be like today never happened. The magic will be gone and it will just be another cold day. It makes me yearn to live somewhere where it snows often in the winter ... maybe someday ;-) ...

On the plus side, I am going to Colorado next Thursday night, so hopefully I will see some more snow while I am there as well.