I've hit the wall

Someone pointed out to me today that I had been very cranky and in a bad mood all day.  Everything that happened was just one more thing to complain about.  I was a little taken aback at first, until I took a minute to think about it and realized that they were right. I've been in a bad mood the past few days and was bringing everyone around me down with me.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend ... Proverbs 27:6

It takes a real friend to tell you things you don't necessarily want to hear. I know I personally don't always want to hear it, nor do I always take it well, but more often than not it takes someone else looking out for my well being to open my eyes to the situation. Thankfully, I've been blessed with some truly amazing friends.

After this person called me out, I got to thinking about why my week seems to be going so poorly. Here's the thing: I have hit the wall of frustration about my job situation. All summer I did my best not to worry, and overall that was pretty successful. But now, with school starting less than 3 weeks away, with me still not knowing what grade I'm going to be teaching, I've hit the wall. I'm stressed and I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated that every year it's the same thing. I don't handle uncertainty well, I surely don't handle stress well, and this is about as much uncertainty and stress as you can get. This one thing was putting a damper on everything. I was getting upset about the most insignificant of things, because of this one big thing in the back of my mind.

Instead of continuing to sit around and cry or whine about it; instead of continuing to live in a constant state of frustration, I decided to pray about it. Oddly enough, the verse that first popped into my mind was my all time favorite verse in the Bible:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

The thing is (and for one reason or another I have to be reminded of this often), it's not about my plan and it's not about my timing.  That's a hard concept for me to accept, but it's not about what I want.  This situation is out of my hands, and whether it turns out the way I want it to or not is not what matters. You see, it's not my plan, it's His.  I don't know what is in store for next week, next month, or next year, but if I follow the plan He lays out for me there is a promise to go along with it. A promise of hope for the future. Another verse I love goes right along with that:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

Did you catch that? He works for the good of those who love Him.  He doesn't make mistakes. No matter what comes, He will work good from it. So, I can rest assured in my faith that it will be okay. That doesn't mean it will be what I want. That doesn't mean it will come without stress. But I can be filled with His peace that it will be okay, and good will come of this.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

I shouldn't be surprised really, but I feel so much better. I'm ready to tackle tomorrow, next week, and whatever comes my way.