Waiting

Do you ever feel like you are spending your life waiting for something else? Like your life hasn't turned out exactly the way you had hoped and planned it would, so rather than enjoying life and living in the moment, you are waiting around for that "something better", whatever it may be?

I definitely do. It's not that my life has turned out horribly so far; in all honesty, it's turned out pretty well. It's just not exactly what I wanted it to be. This wasn't the place I pictured for myself. I constantly find myself just waiting for this life I have built in my head to take shape, but it never does. It's sort of hard not to be disappointed when you spend your life waiting for something that doesn't happen.

Hang with me here, my thinking is a little disjointed, but it's going somewhere, I promise ...

How often it seems lately, that the things I need to hear the most, are the things that are taught in my bible study or church service. I learned a new vocabulary word this week that relates to that. My new word is rhema. A rhema is a verse or scripture that is brought to our attention to direct us in a current situation. If that doesn't describe perfectly what has been happening in my life then I don't know what does. Obviously, God is making sure I hear the things I need to.

Anyway, in my bible study we have been talking about this whole concept of waiting on God to provide us with something we feel we want/deserve/need etc. This ties in well to my previous entries about God's plan being above my own. Here is my new thinking: God has this plan for me and somewhere along the line it may or may not include all the things I want out of life. The thing is, He wants to prepare me for this life He has planned for me before He will give it to me. So, He asks me to do things, or change the things that need changing, and He waits for me to follow through. I can't just make things happen the way I want them to, I have to wait; BUT, and that's a big but, just waiting around doing the same old things is not going to get me there. He has all my ducks lined up in a row, but I can't get to them unless I follow what He has asked me to do first. He sets tasks in front of me to prepare me for what He has planned later. That's the key. He wants to mold me into the person I need to be, and prepare me for what is coming in my life. I cannot get to the big things, until I am obedient in the small things He has laid on my heart. Does that make sense?

I know good and well that God is sitting around waiting on me to get my act together on a number of things. He's got all these great plans for me, I'm sure, but I keep failing to follow through with my end of the bargain, the small things; and until I do, I will never see all the great things He has promised.

I woke up the other morning humming this song, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head since. It's one of my favorites.

While I'm Waiting - John Waller

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on you, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on you, lord

though it is painful

but patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve you

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait.

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on you, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on you, Lord

Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait.