Road Trip With My Favorite 7 Year Old

If you follow me on twitter you probably saw where I tweeted a few days ago about going on a road trip with my favorite 7 year old. Here's the story.

Remember A from my class this past year? (I've blogged about spending time with her earlier this summer.)  Well, her mom and I have become friends over the past few months, and while we were chatting on the phone last week it came up that A was going to Austin to spend the week with her Granny.  They were planning on driving her up there on Sunday, then turning around and driving straight home. That's 6 hours in the car in one afternoon!  Since I was also planning on going to Austin on Sunday after church, I offered to take her to save them the trip.

So, come Sunday we met up after church, and after having lunch together at Lupe Tortilla, A and I set out for Austin. Can I just tell you how much I love that little girl?!? I had SO much fun with her for 3 hours in the car! She chatted up a storm and had me laughing half the trip. It really made the drive go by quickly!  We stopped about halfway through the trip to get a drink and while we were waiting in the drive through we snapped a few pictures.

"Wait, my animals didn't get in it! Can we take another?"

you know how much I love silly face pictures haha

Seriously, could I love this child anymore? I'm not sure it's possible.

When we got to Austin we met up with her Granny and then I went on to my mom's house.  This child was the bright spot in an otherwise pretty horrible week. Love her to death!

Butterfinger Banana Cupcakes

I'm heading to Austin tomorrow to see Mom and Woody, so I decided now was as good a time as any to make some more cupcakes! This time I will actually have people to share them with, so I figured it was perfect. As per my mom's request, I made butterfinger banana cupcakes with a peanut butter cream cheese frosting. Let me just say, YUM!

I definitely could have eaten the entire bowl of batter with a spoon it was so good haha! But, I managed to save enough to make some cupcakes too ;-) The cake itself could sort of be described as banana bread meets cupcakes. It has a banana bread type flavor (with a little bit of butterfinger crunch) but with a cupcake texture. I LOVE banana bread, so I LOVE these cupcakes! Add in the peanut butter frosting, sprinkle some crushed up butterfingers on top, and these are pretty darn good!

The last time I baked cupcakes I learned that my oven cooks faster than I expected. So, this time I watched these very carefully and they turned out wonderfully moist and delicious! yum! yum! yum! :)

Knowing vs Feeling

Here is the thing: it looks very bad. Impossibly bad, actually. Bad enough my dad could hardly think of anything positive to say to me about it. I know it is going to be okay; I know that. I don't need to be told that it will work out, I know it will. I posted this the other night:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

and I believe it, really.  It. will. be. okay.

However, knowing that it will be okay does not change the way I feel  right now.  What my brain tells me and what my heart feels are not the same. I can know one thing, and feel something completely different. I know it will be fine, but it does not feel fine. It feels awful in fact. It feels like my life is falling apart. The reality is, it's not. It will be okay (how many times have I said that now?!?), it's just not okay yet.

Right now, I am not okay. BUT, I know that I will be okay and that's what is most important. And I'm clinging to that knowledge for dear life.

Hey, I got out of bed this morning ... that's a pretty good start haha

Worry

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own.  Matthew 6:34

At this point, I don't even know what a "best case scenario"  would be anymore ...

I've hit the wall

Someone pointed out to me today that I had been very cranky and in a bad mood all day.  Everything that happened was just one more thing to complain about.  I was a little taken aback at first, until I took a minute to think about it and realized that they were right. I've been in a bad mood the past few days and was bringing everyone around me down with me.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend ... Proverbs 27:6

It takes a real friend to tell you things you don't necessarily want to hear. I know I personally don't always want to hear it, nor do I always take it well, but more often than not it takes someone else looking out for my well being to open my eyes to the situation. Thankfully, I've been blessed with some truly amazing friends.

After this person called me out, I got to thinking about why my week seems to be going so poorly. Here's the thing: I have hit the wall of frustration about my job situation. All summer I did my best not to worry, and overall that was pretty successful. But now, with school starting less than 3 weeks away, with me still not knowing what grade I'm going to be teaching, I've hit the wall. I'm stressed and I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated that every year it's the same thing. I don't handle uncertainty well, I surely don't handle stress well, and this is about as much uncertainty and stress as you can get. This one thing was putting a damper on everything. I was getting upset about the most insignificant of things, because of this one big thing in the back of my mind.

Instead of continuing to sit around and cry or whine about it; instead of continuing to live in a constant state of frustration, I decided to pray about it. Oddly enough, the verse that first popped into my mind was my all time favorite verse in the Bible:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

The thing is (and for one reason or another I have to be reminded of this often), it's not about my plan and it's not about my timing.  That's a hard concept for me to accept, but it's not about what I want.  This situation is out of my hands, and whether it turns out the way I want it to or not is not what matters. You see, it's not my plan, it's His.  I don't know what is in store for next week, next month, or next year, but if I follow the plan He lays out for me there is a promise to go along with it. A promise of hope for the future. Another verse I love goes right along with that:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

Did you catch that? He works for the good of those who love Him.  He doesn't make mistakes. No matter what comes, He will work good from it. So, I can rest assured in my faith that it will be okay. That doesn't mean it will be what I want. That doesn't mean it will come without stress. But I can be filled with His peace that it will be okay, and good will come of this.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

I shouldn't be surprised really, but I feel so much better. I'm ready to tackle tomorrow, next week, and whatever comes my way.

Texture to Photos

Today I learned how to add texture to my photos using photoshop. I played with this for way too long this afternoon! It's okay though, because I got my entire classroom library project finished and that was pretty much the only thing I had to get done this week. (side note, YAY!) I think this is a really cool trick because it dramatically changes the appearance of your photos. Here is an example:

This is the original shot I took of the Dry Bean in College Station last week:

I initially changed it to black and white because I liked the look much better. Gave it a little more of a rustic feeling:

Today I took that same image and added texture to it, resulting in this photo:

Now, doesn't it look much more old fashioned? Like it's been preserved from long ago? I love it! Such a dramatic change!

Maybe you don't think this is as fun as I do, but I'm pretty thrilled about it so I thought I would share. I see how this can be very addicting haha.

school is coming

I guess it is officially back to school time because I have started to have back to school nightmares.  You know, things like: I show up to school expecting first graders and find a class of eighth graders, or I get to school on the first day and realize I don't have one single thing planned and the kids are already there. Oddly enough, I did not have these types of dreams before my first year teaching, but they did start at about this same time last summer.

I am totally unprepared to go back to school.  At the beginning of the summer I made a list of 13 school related things I wanted to accomplish over the break. Some were simple projects, some only required reading and some planning, and some were major overhaul type projects. I pulled out that list today (when I realized it was August first, yikes!) and found I have only completed one thing on the list. ONE. That's it, one. Well, technically it will be two if I ever force myself to finish this massive classroom library organization plan I have. I'm almost done, I just have no desire to finish. That's bad. But seriously, what have I been doing all summer?!? I had so many plans and so few of them came to pass. I need 3 more months of summer, how can I make that happen?

I'm starting to stress a little. And by a little, I mean a lot. The thing is, the first day of school is close. It's coming up VERY quickly (23 days!!). I should be starting to get things organized, labeled, put together, and planned, but I STILL don't know what grade I'm teaching.  It's frustrating. I'm trying to have faith it's going to work out, and I'm trying to be patient, but it's hard.  It's hard to be patient when you want things organized and lined up in little rows just so. I can't start setting up my room, because I don't know what room I'll be in. I can't start planning, because I don't know what grade I'm teaching. In once sense, I'm ready for school to be here because that means I'll know what the upcoming year holds and I'll be past this uncertainty.  But on the other hand, I know good and well the level of stress the upcoming weeks hold and I want to hold that off forever.

Remember, I've been here before. I know how this goes. I know what it's like to change rooms and grade levels at the last minute; I've done it twice now. It's not fun. It's extremely stressful. But, it's manageable. It won't kill me. It won't be the end of the world.  Do me a favor, remind me of that if you talk to me. It's getting harder to remember each day.