Peace

I admit it. I am the girl that is ALWAYS worried about something. Honestly, I think I have been known to make up things to worry about when there are no real worries to be found. It seems I always have to be worrying about something, it's just who I am.

At least, that is who I have always been ... right up until now.

Recently there has been more than one area of my life that have pretty much completely blown up in my face. Normally, this would have caused me to crawl in the back corner of my closet, curl up in a ball, and cry (I wish I was kidding, but I'm not). Under normal circumstances, my life right now would be way to much for me to handle stress and worry-wise. And yet, here I am not worried at all. I feel like I should be freaking out, but I can't even force myself to worry about it. I'm not upset; I'm not stressed; I'm not worried; I'm not even feeling unsure. I feel a complete and total sense of peace. Looking back over the past year (or so) I can tell you that I have honestly been adequately prepared for exactly what my life is right now, and I have complete faith that I am prepared (or am being prepared) for the future, whatever it may be. There is uncertainty out the wazoo, and more major changes than I can count in situations once thought to be the most stable, and yet somehow, I feel completely at peace.

Not only am I not stressed about the future, but I'm not even stressed about my day to day life. This is unheard of! I can tell you right now, this sense of peace is not from me. It's not; there is no way it can be. By nature, I am a worrier. Feeling this much peace in light of unknown circumstances is in no way coming from me. That's all God. I'd been praying about it, and I know the ladies from my bible study had been praying for me about it, and I'm telling you, God answered my prayers. He filled me with a complete and total sense of peace that I can't even begin to understand. Logically, I see what is going on, and what challenges are looming ahead, but somehow I know inside that it's nothing to concern myself with. I know that come what may, I'm going to be okay, or even better than okay. For the first time in my entire life, I'm taking it one step at a time. I'm concentrating on what I have to do TODAY, and not worrying about the rest. This must sound like a lot of vague mumbo jumbo to you (I'll explain more later when I can) but the fact of the matter is everything stable in my life fell out from under me in the past 5 months and I feel completely calm, and even happy about it. It's strange ... very strange, but it's great. Who knew this is what it feels like when you actually handle life?!? haha

I read this in my daily devotional yesterday and it was so fitting:

Follow Me one step at a time. That is all I require of you. In fact, that is the only way to move through this space/time world. You see huge mountains looming and you start wondering how you are going to scale those heights. Meanwhile, because you're not looking where you're going you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now. As I help you get back on your feet you tell me how worried you are about the cliffs up ahead. But you don't know what will happen today, much less tomorrow. Our path may take an abrupt turn, leading you away from those mountains. There may be an easier way up the mountain than is visible from this distance. If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will equip you thoroughly for that strenuous climb. I will even give my angles charge over you to preserve you in all your ways.

Keep your mind on the present journey, enjoying my presence. Walk by faith, not by sight, trusting Me to open up the way before you.