180 Crazy Things for 180 Days! - Part 4

Part four of 180 Crazy Things for 180 Days:

97. Boy peeing on another boy's foot

98. Boy cutting another's hair

99. Kids eating poisonous seed pods at recess - calling poison control

100. Mean girls

101. Girl laughing in the face of a kid with special needs

102. Girl writing "dam bech" on her namtag

103. Parents passing out extra snow cones to some kids on field day

104. Boy's grandma bullying the front office staff

105. screaming match with girl's mom

106. Boy refusing the bathroom during the break to be first in line, then pooping his pants on the way back to class - repeatedly!

107. "____ spit in the water fountain" - kids refused to use the water fountain ALL year because of this

108. brainstorming "jackass" for short a

109. Boy threatening to kill himself

110. boy putting boogers on EVERYONE!

111. Boy's hair being shaved into designs when told not to over and over

112. "I whip my baby back and forth" song

113. Boy sitting at his desk and eating his entire worksheet!

114. Boy throwing scissors across the room

115. Boy saying "your mom loves you naked"

116. Boy telling another boy he has "sexy dark chocolate legs"

117. Boy touching others in inappropriate places

118. "my name is Kari" song at show and tell

119. Boy calling another boy a dick

120. Boy breaking the computer headphones on purpose

121. Boy wearing a onesie to school

122. Boy saying "___ showers with girls!"

123. Girl giving Christmas gift: "this used to be my mom's but she didn't like it so now it's yours"

124. Boy telling others "all first grade teachers are fat"

125. Boy spitting in the trashcan all the time

126. Mean girls refusing to find each others names in the word search

127. Boy's "one man play" at talent show tryouts

128. Boy throwing a rock at the birds nest with eggs in it

129. Boy opening his mouth and saying "mucus" as it dribbled down his chin

130. Girls refusing to applaud for people at the talent show because they didn't get picked to be in it.

131. Boy putting so much confetti in his hair during the talent show

132. teacher requesting chid gets glasses ALL year - last day of school he shows up with some

180 Crazy Things for 180 Days! - Part 3

Part 3 of 180 Crazy Things for 180 Days:

74. Girl peeing in a water bottle

75. Girl making weapons out of paper clips and passing them out at recess

76. Girl mooning everyone at recess

77. Girl shoving a teacher out of their way at recess

78. Boy refusing to pick up an envelope when the teacher asked. Flat out saying no and walking away

79. Girl throwing a major fit and physically refusing to move

80. Boy writing "sorry you are a big fat cow" as an apology

81. Girl kicking another girl in the stomach

82. Boy throwing his jacket in the basketball hoop at recess

83. 2 girls ate glue

84. Boy asked where babies come from. teacher responded, "mommy"

85. Girl laughed at boy's mom's head covering at the holiday party

86. Girl's mom bullying the teacher!

87. Boy asking for permission to throw up

88. Girl using her belt as a whip at lunch

89. Girl throwing a fit in art as though she was possessed

90. Yelling at kids not to touch the wall then turning around and seeing the first boy in line hitting his hand repeatedly against the wall to spite the teacher

91. Girl put sticky tack in other girls hair

92. One boy FINALLY getting it on the LAST day of school "oh wait, that book rhymes"

93. Asking the kids to clean something up and finding a bigger mess after they tried

94. Boy yelling out, "IT'S SEXY TIME!"

95. Boy wearing sweat bands every day for weeks. "he looks like Richard Simmons"

96. Boy yelling out during the Fantastic Mr. Fox Play. "did y'all have fun?" "NOOOO!!!"

haha I'm cracking up just typing all these out again. Stay tuned for part 4. 2 teachers and the whole group left to go!

180 Crazy Things for 180 Days! - Part 2

Here is part two of 180 Crazy Things for 180 Crazy Days:

38. Boy threatening to kill everyone in class the first month of school

39. Girl pooping on the bathroom floor repeatedly

40. Girl's mom calling the superintendent to tattle

41. Boy leaving his group and wandering around Dewberry Farm alone

42. Girl and boy saying the eat armpit hair and drink pee

43. "the only thing that could make today better is if girls were running around in bikinis and we could run around like horses"

44. Girl bringing a cell phone to school and telling teacher it was a heart monitor

45. "can I have a piece of teacher appreciation cake since my mom brought it"

46. "gimme some chili on that" to the lunch ladies

47. Girl pushing others off the stage to be in the top row of pictures

48. Girl giving every first grade teacher a Christmas gift, except her own teacher

49. Boy pushing someone off the top of the playscape

50. Girl calling her teacher rude to her face "I'm not rude, YOU'RE RUDE!"

51. Boy dancing and grabbing his crotch at talent show tryouts

52. Boy bringing crayon outside and drawing a picture on the sidewalk

53. last day goodbyes - boy asking, "can you kiss me?" to his teacher

54. Boy writing his name in crayon on a desk

55. Boy telling the class he is "a pimp"

56. Girl picking her toes during reading group

57. Boy baby voice

58. Girl telling the kids she "hates God"

59. Girl spitting gum on the playground blacktop

60. Girl doing cartwheels into people at Kroger

61. Boy sobbing the whole way to the field trip crying, "I miss my mommy!"

62. Boy singing "down by the river and the hanky panky. Where your mama is fat and her breath is stanky"

63. Girl forging a note from her parents

64. Kids screaming out during the moment of silence at field day

65. Boy wearing girl's pink jacket and all the kids laughing about it

65. Boy wearing his huge "ring pop" style rings

66. Boy asking his teacher to tie a scarf around him to look like a halter top

67. Boy and his "boob hugs"

68. Boy jumping on the stage immediately after hearing "do not touch the stage"

69. Girl bumping into teacher on purpose as she was walking laps for time out

70. Boy stabbing girl with his finger during talent show

71. One of the boy class bullies calling a girl a bully during the talent show. Can we say calling the kettle black?

72. Boy's mom emailing 10 minutes after school is out to complain about grades.

180 Crazy Things for 180 Days! - Part 1

On the 100th day of school each first grade class came up with a list of "100 things we love about first grade". Nearing the end of the year, we were all (the teachers) just about to lose our minds with the kids being SO out of control with no way to stop them. To save our sanity, we decided to come up with a similar list, only instead of 100 things we love, it was going to be 100 crazy things that happened. We figured it would give us some good laughs since the year was almost over. Once we got started and found how easy 100 was, we decided to take it a step further. We decided that there are 180 days in the school year, so we should make a list of 180. You would be surprised how easy it was to come up with this stuff!

I've decided to post a version of this list here and just not include the identifying information. If nothing else, it will make me laugh, but maybe you can get just a glimpse of what our year was like at the same time. Feel free to laugh, some of this is crazy shit! I'm going to break this up into a series of posts, one post for each teacher's class, and then one for the whole group.

So, without further ado, part one of "180 Crazy Things for 180 Crazy days!"

1. Putting a girl in timeout only to have her mom tell her she doesn't have to listen to the teacher and can play on field day.

2. Screaming fits in the hallway - weekly!

3. Girl flat out stealing another girl's yearbook and putting it in her backpack

4. Grand Theft Auto! Boy stealing a 5th grader's motorized scooter

5. Boy spitting on his neighbor while working in class because "I wanted to"

6. Boy hiding under the library bookshelves and refusing to come out for 10 minutes

7. Boy climbing and hanging on the bookshelves in library saying "I'm climbing a mountain!"

8. Boy telling girl she should write about her mom in her treasure book. "write about how she sits home and drinks beer all day!"

9. Boy coloring ALL over his brand new white jacket in marker

10. Boy bringing pills to school in his pocket - the day after a drug free lecture!

11. Boy eating markers, telling the teacher he didn't, then showing off his bright blue tongue

12. Boy breaking a pencil over his knee while the teacher watched

13. Boy's mom passing out 15 packs of gushers to random children on field day while other kids watched

14. Boy throwing his desk as hard as he could

15. Boy splashing water all over kids at the bathroom sink - other kid's face and hair were SOPPING wet!

16. Boy stomping on another boy's foot "because I felt like it"

17. 2 girls singing a spur of the moment inappropriate song at talent show tryouts

18. Boy's note from outclass, "please seek help before next year" which of course later was changed

19. Girl dumping an entire bottle of water on a teacher's foot then walking away without a word.

20. Boy saying "Mrs. Mac is fat" to other kids

21. Repeating "no climbing on the fence" 5 times. kids come back from recess - 2 climbed the fence!

22. During story time on the carpet the first week ... boy crawling and head butting children screaming at the top of his lungs "get out of my way" over and over

23. Boy spitting his water on teacher's desk and papers because he was mad

24. Boy licking the neighboring class window on his way to the bathroom.

25. Boy galloping around the carpet making horse noises for 25 straight minutes

26. Boy yelling at lunch lady "hey lady, is there any more bread back there?!?"

27. Boy running around the room with scissors in his mouth

28. Girl peeing in her pants on purpose because she got in trouble

29. Girl ripping labeling stickers off the ONLY book she was allowed to touch all year

30. Boy kicking and hitting the walls for an extended period of time

31. Someone coloring all over the carpet and no one owning up to it

32. Boy giving a used bottle of baby lotion for Christmas - gross!

33. Boy stealing someone's boomerang on the way to recess then beating children with it.

34. Boy telling the whole class "I know where puppies come from. The mom dog poops them out!"

35. Boy's mom coming to school to yell at him in front of the class

36. Boy ripping a bat from a teacher's hand and yelling "gimme that! I want that"

37. Boy sticking crayons up his nose in art.

Insanity I tell you. Part 2 to come later!

Ice Cream Maker

I had a couple American Express giftcards I got for my birthday, so I decided to buy myself an ice cream maker for the summer! I took a trip to Sur La Table because I saw their ad that they had colorful Cuisinart ice cream makers, rather than just the normal white. When I got there I found out that they had a special going on, and if you bought the ice cream maker, you got a $15 gift card. Score! I ended up with all kinds of fun goodies! A turquoise ice cream maker, a matching ice cream scoop, an ice cream sandwich cookie pan, some cute red french fry baskets (we've been making a lot of homemade baked french fries lately), and some whiskey stones for Tony (since he had found them online and wanted them but we hadn't seen them in any stores). With my birthday money, and the free gift card, I spent under $20 for everything. So exciting!

I couldn't wait to use my ice cream maker yesterday after letting the barrel piece freeze overnight! Tony requested chocolate ice cream, since that's his favorite, and I figured if I make something he will eat then I won't have to be a fatty and eat the entire batch every time haha. So, milk chocolate it was! I researched recipes online and ended up finding a good one from a baking blog I read.

Let me just tell you, the ice cream turned out SO rich and creamy! I am in LOVE! It has such a yummy chocolatey flavor, but you can only eat a little because it is so rich. There is nothing about this ice cream I don't love. Tony had been joking with me all day that "it better be as good as Blue Bell, because that's the only ice cream I eat". I served him up a bowl to let him try it. His response? "Wow, this is bluebell quality". YAY! Ice cream success!

If you have an ice cream maker and are interested in the recipe you can find it here at this great baking blog: Brown Eyed Baker

I've already bookmarked TONS of ice cream recipes I cannot wait to try! What a fun summer treat!! :)

Grand Theft Auto

I keep saying they can't do anything else that will surprise me, and yet, shit like this keeps happening:

After school today I was walking by the nurse's office when a group of teachers stopped me.

T: Hey, you have J in your class right?

me: yeah, why

T: do you happen to know if he has a motorized scooter?

me: as far as I know, no he does not

T: do you happen to know if he rode one to school today?

me: no, he definitely didn't. He was tardy because his mom brought him and then stayed for the awards ceremony at 8:30

T: oh, well we think he stole one then ...

Tracy then goes on to tell me that J has apparently stolen an older student's motorized scooter and rode it home. They got outside with the walkers and this one older kid was a little late. When she got out there she saw her scooter was gone. They looked down the road and could see J riding it way down the street. They were calling his parents to try and confirm that it was in fact stolen, and not actually his.

Um, can you say first grade grand theft auto?!?! HE FREAKING STOLE A MOTORIZED SCOOTER! Who does that?!?! I have to admit, this one actually left me in a state of complete shock. There isn't a lot that actually surprises me anymore, but this just takes the cake. I'm interested to hear tomorrow how it all turned out. I know that some teachers were suggesting we actually call the police and have them go teach him a lesson about theft, but I don't know how it all ended up playing out because I had to leave.

This is complete INSANITY I tell you. INSANITY!!!

spit

Yesterday I was sitting at my guided reading table organizing a few things while the kids worked. One little boy came up to me and reported that his neighbor had spit on him. He held up his arm, and sure enough, there was a large puddle of spit right there. So I call the neighbor up to chat:

Me: Did you spit on C?

A: *shakes head no*

Me: I'm going to ask again, did you spit on C?

A: *shakes head no*

Me: this is your last chance before I go check the cameras to see if you're lying. Did you spit on C?

A: *looks down* yeah

Me: *getting angry* why in the world would you spit on someone?!?!

A: I dunno, I just wanted to

WTF kind of kid turns to his neighbor and thinks "hey, it might be fun to spit on you right now" and then does it in the middle of class?!? OMG. Every day is something new ...