Friendship

It's little things like knowing that when I am sad or overwhelmed I find the best hiding spot to be the floor of my closet.

It's little things like crawling into the closet to lay on the floor next to me, and letting me cry for awhile until I feel better.

Leaving is going to be so hard ...

Friends

I am so blessed to have wonderful friends who are always there to catch me. I think I sometimes take for granted that they will always be there. I'm realizing more and more each day that not everyone has that. So, to my wonderful friends: thank you. I love you more than you know.

Moving

It's been FOREVER, I know! A lot has been going on and I've been making an effort to spend more time living my life than playing on the computer and writing about it.

I have now told this to all the people that needed to be told personally, so I can let you all in on what has been going on. Yesterday I gave notice of resignation from my job. I am moving to Colorado at the end of the summer. I do not have a job yet, which is a serious stressor, but I am going anyway! There is a masters program at CU in Boulder that I am interested in, but to get in-state tuition I have to live there a year first. Hence the reason I am moving this summer, hoping to find a job and work for a year, then start the masters program in the fall of 2011. I could definitely use some prayers as this is a serious leap of faith for me. I'm scared to death, but sometimes the best things in life are scary.

Yesterday was the last day of school and I emailed the staff the night before to let them know I wouldn't be back. I also told my kids before the bell rang. It was sobfest 2010 for sure. I am going to miss those kids more than words can describe! Heck, I've taught that same group for 3 years, no wonder I'm attached. And as much as I've cried about the changes in my job each year, I LOVED my school and the people I worked with! So many of them I consider such true friends and I am going to miss them dearly. It was a sad day for sure.

This morning we had to go and check in and then leave because the movers were there and we were all just in the way. It was hard for me; there were a lot more tears. I'm excited about this next chapter in my life, but that doesn't make me any less sad about leaving where I am now. I hate goodbyes and I'm not that great with change.

There is probably a lot more I could write about this, but it's too fresh and it still makes me feel like crying so I'll stop there. Maybe I'll fill in some more details later. For now, I am going to spend the next 6 weeks until I leave enjoying every moment of my time left here in Houston. Starting now: I'm headed to the pool to lay out with a new friend. :)

Life goes on and hopefully everything will work out for the best. But that's my life right now in a nutshell.

Packing and Baby Fever

I have to apologize, I haven't posted anything here in almost a month! yikes! In my defense, I have been crazy busy and stressed with the end of the year, and my internet hasn't exactly been working well the past few weeks. Since the internet hasn't been working I haven't even been able to upload photos so I'm even way behind in that. Good thing summer starts next week. Maybe I'll be able to play catch up then haha.

In recent news: I have officially packed up and moved everything out of my classroom. I was becoming very overwhelmed with all the random boxes and stuff around which was leading to some very near panic attacks during the day so I had to just get it out. Tony came and helped me move all my stuff to Betty's garage today so as of tonight I am DONE. The only thing left in my classroom is furniture, a large stack of lined paper, and a cup of pencils. Ridiculous? yes. Do I have ANY idea what we are going to do the rest of the week? no. oh well. At least the stress is gone haha.

Also, I have serious baby fever. Not that this is new exactly; I've been saying I want a baby for years haha ... but this week it is especially bad. One of my teammates had a baby in March and she has been coming up with the baby after school to get some packing done. Well, the baby likes to be held ALL the time, so I offered to hold her while Shelly packed. I held her for an hour 2 days in a row after school. I played with her, fed her, and rocked her to sleep. 7 different people walked by and saw me holding her and told me "that looks good on you. You're a natural". This is how the baby fever began.

Then, yesterday at the hospital I held 3 different babies the whole 2 hours I was there. The first one I held until she fell asleep and 3 different nurses stopped to ask me if I could stay forever because they hadn't seen that child sleep yet. They said no one had been able to calm her down and there must be something very calming about me. "you really have a knack for that, you must have kids of your own huh?" um no. But now I think I need one.

So, baby fever is in full force. haha Now if only I could find myself a husband and have a baby tomorrow. likely? not at all hehe

Kindness

Today in Sunday school we taught the kids about kindness. The focus however, was not just on being kind to others, but recognizing when others are kind to you. The big idea was that many times God provides what you need though the kindness of others. That was just the perfect lesson for today, because I have the perfect example of it this morning.

I have about a million and one stressors on my plate right now. And I'm not talking about little "What am I going to wear today" type stressors. I'm talking major life altering stressors. This past week I just basically hit the wall and like a roly poly I just curled up into myself to escape. I panicked. I froze. I've just been completely overwhelmed. A lot of these stressors are big things over the next few months, but, I did have one current pretty major worry.

With the school being renovated, I have to take home EVERYTHING that belongs to me in a month. As I found out this week, I have a TON of stuff! So, my current worry has been "where the heck am I going to store all this stuff over the summer?". I live on the third story in a one bedroom apartment. Sure I could keep it in my living room, but that would fill the entire space thus putting half my home out of commission for the summer. Not exactly an ideal living situation. Plus that would involve lugging it all up 3 flights of stairs then back down in a few months. Not one part of that seems reasonable or logical at all. It was looking like I was going to just have to get a storage unit for a few months, but that costs a lot of money. It's not that I couldn't afford to pay for it if I had to, but there are a lot of unknowns coming up and I sort of need to save as much money as I can. So I was pretty worried about what I was going to do about this situation.

Here's where I get to the part about God taking care of me. This morning I made it to my ABF class for the first time in months. I've been so bad about getting there early enough for anything other than sunday school. I was sitting next to this lady and she was asking if I was ready for the end of the year. I started to tell her about how I already have one foot out the door even though there are 22 1/2 days left. I was explaining the renovation and packing situation to explain why I all of a sudden felt like it should be summer and have just checked out. She asked me where I was planning to keep all my stuff over the summer and I sighed and said I thought I was going to just have to get a storage unit. She immediately offered to house all my stuff in her garage for me free of charge. She said she has a two car garage, but it's only her so she only uses half. She said up until recently her son and daughter in law had been storing a lot of stuff on the other side but had recently moved it all out so she had the space open. She offered to give me her garage code so that I can come and go as I need to in order to get it all in there.

Pure and simple kindness. This isn't someone I am great friends with, it's not someone I know incredibly well, it's someone I sit next to each week and engage in friendly conversation with. It's someone who wanted to do something nice for someone just to help them out. That's exactly what we were trying to teach the kids today. kindness. Isn't it wonderful?

One foot in front of the other, one step at a time, God is taking care of me today, and will do the same tomorrow. Somehow, I'll make it to August ...

School Renovation

Have I mentioned yet that my school is being renovated over the summer? I don't think that I have. Fort Bend has this like 10 year renovation plan or something and this year it's our school's turn. What does this mean for teachers at the end of the school year? INSANITY!!

Because of the renovation, which is going to be a drastic overhaul of the school, we have to box up EVERY LAST THING and move it out. If it is something that belongs to you personally, you have to take it home. If it belongs to the school, you have to box it a certain way and the movers will take it. You can not leave a single paperclip in the room or cabinets. Guess when the movers are coming? ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! That's right, the last day of school the kids leave at 10:45am. But the movers? Oh, they will be there at 10:30. This basically means that you have to already have moved out ALL your personal belongings, and have every single thing boxed up before the kids are even gone. Like I said, INSANITY!!

I am making a very solid effort not to be a hoarder this year. If I haven't used it in 3 years, I am NOT keeping it. I have thrown away SOO much stuff, which is good, because I have a ridiculous amount of things!! I moved into a classroom that was completely empty. This means that the only school items I have are those I specifically asked for and brought in. I packed all those already .... all 4 boxes of them. The unfortunate part is that with that packed up, you would never even know I packed anything. And EVERYTHING else belongs to me. UGH!

Today was another TAKS day, meaning we had no outclass time. So, we watched a movie to make up for it and I spent that hour and 20 minutes organizing, packing, and throwing things away. I actually put a small dent in it today. When a resource aid came in at the end of the day she commented, "it's looking pretty bare in here" So, I guess you could say it's coming along ...

24 1/2 more days ... am I going to make it in time? I hope so ...

Will I lose my mind in the process? Seems highly likely haha

Better Than a Hallelujah

This song came on the radio the other day as I was on my way to church and I immediately fell in love with it. I think the lyrics are just beautiful if you listen to them, and I wanted to share it with someone.

If your life feels like a giant mess like mine currently does, maybe you'll find this encouraging.

Better Than a Hallelujah - Amy Grant

God loves a lullaby,

In a mother's tears in the dead of night,

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

God loves the drunkards cry,

The soldier's plea not to let him die,

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries,

God just hears a melody,

Beautiful the mess we are,

The honest cries of breaking hearts,

Are better than a Hallelujah.

The woman holding on for life,

The dying man giving up the fight,

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

The tears of shame for what's been done,

The silence when the words won't come,

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries,

God just hears a melody,

Beautiful the mess we are,

The honest cries of breaking hearts,

Are better than a Hallelujah.

Better than a church bell ringing,

Better than a choir singing out, singing out.

We pour out our miseries,

God just hears a melody,

Beautiful the mess we are,

The honest cries of breaking hearts,

Are better than a Hallelujah.