Peace

I admit it. I am the girl that is ALWAYS worried about something. Honestly, I think I have been known to make up things to worry about when there are no real worries to be found. It seems I always have to be worrying about something, it's just who I am.

At least, that is who I have always been ... right up until now.

Recently there has been more than one area of my life that have pretty much completely blown up in my face. Normally, this would have caused me to crawl in the back corner of my closet, curl up in a ball, and cry (I wish I was kidding, but I'm not). Under normal circumstances, my life right now would be way to much for me to handle stress and worry-wise. And yet, here I am not worried at all. I feel like I should be freaking out, but I can't even force myself to worry about it. I'm not upset; I'm not stressed; I'm not worried; I'm not even feeling unsure. I feel a complete and total sense of peace. Looking back over the past year (or so) I can tell you that I have honestly been adequately prepared for exactly what my life is right now, and I have complete faith that I am prepared (or am being prepared) for the future, whatever it may be. There is uncertainty out the wazoo, and more major changes than I can count in situations once thought to be the most stable, and yet somehow, I feel completely at peace.

Not only am I not stressed about the future, but I'm not even stressed about my day to day life. This is unheard of! I can tell you right now, this sense of peace is not from me. It's not; there is no way it can be. By nature, I am a worrier. Feeling this much peace in light of unknown circumstances is in no way coming from me. That's all God. I'd been praying about it, and I know the ladies from my bible study had been praying for me about it, and I'm telling you, God answered my prayers. He filled me with a complete and total sense of peace that I can't even begin to understand. Logically, I see what is going on, and what challenges are looming ahead, but somehow I know inside that it's nothing to concern myself with. I know that come what may, I'm going to be okay, or even better than okay. For the first time in my entire life, I'm taking it one step at a time. I'm concentrating on what I have to do TODAY, and not worrying about the rest. This must sound like a lot of vague mumbo jumbo to you (I'll explain more later when I can) but the fact of the matter is everything stable in my life fell out from under me in the past 5 months and I feel completely calm, and even happy about it. It's strange ... very strange, but it's great. Who knew this is what it feels like when you actually handle life?!? haha

I read this in my daily devotional yesterday and it was so fitting:

Follow Me one step at a time. That is all I require of you. In fact, that is the only way to move through this space/time world. You see huge mountains looming and you start wondering how you are going to scale those heights. Meanwhile, because you're not looking where you're going you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now. As I help you get back on your feet you tell me how worried you are about the cliffs up ahead. But you don't know what will happen today, much less tomorrow. Our path may take an abrupt turn, leading you away from those mountains. There may be an easier way up the mountain than is visible from this distance. If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will equip you thoroughly for that strenuous climb. I will even give my angles charge over you to preserve you in all your ways.

Keep your mind on the present journey, enjoying my presence. Walk by faith, not by sight, trusting Me to open up the way before you.

Project 365 - Week 5

Here are my shots from last week:

Sorry I didn't get them posted on Sunday. I've been busy ... if you missed my post on facebook, I have a new kindle. It's pretty much taking up any spare moment I am not working or with friends haha

White Chocolate Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cookies

I made some super yummy cookies this weekend! They are white chocolate cinnamon toast crunch cookies. I probably could have eaten the entire bowl of batter all by itself, but somehow I managed to make some cookies as well. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is pretty much my favorite cereal, so adding it into cookies was sure to be a winning recipe. yum :)

Project 365 - Week 4

Here are my shots from week 4:

Sick

Well, it's safe to say I am officially sick. I don't get sick ... EVER ... I guess I didn't really know what it feels like. It sucks :(

I took the day off today, which makes it my first sick day ever, and I went to the doctor. Too bad she didn't have a clue what was wrong with me either. She even went and asked other doctors about it. It's my mysterious nighttime illness. I'm calling it that because up until today, I have only been sick at night. I'm not eating much, but during the day I have had plenty of energy and felt fine. However, each evening around 6pm, I start to feel run down, and within an hour my temperature spikes up about 4 degrees. The rest of the night is just miserable, but the next day I wake up feeling fine. Today is the first day I don't feel fine during the day. I'm not running a fever (although just wait about 6 more hours and I probably will be; it's like clockwork, I'm telling you!) but I feel very weak. The thought of food makes me feel sick, and anytime I stand up and move I feel like I have to stop and get my breath back. It's like moving requires too much energy. I guess it's a good thing I took the day off, but if this is a virus who is to say tomorrow will be any better? I can't take off another day! Guess we'll see what happens this evening ... That being said, I am spending the day in bed. Other than my trip to the doctor, I have slept all morning so hopefully that will help.

On the plus side, I had no idea how good some of my friends are or how much people are willing to do to help me when I need it. I don't often ask for much; heck, I don't often ask for anything, but I've found multiple people, who I never would have expected, willing to go entirely out of their way to make sure I am okay and taken care of. Blessing in disguise I guess.

Treasure - Part II

Awhile back, I posted about what I had been doing in December to volunteer my time, and mentioned that I had something else in the works for this year. I am quite certain that you have all been on the edge of your seats waiting to hear what that was (haha!) and I am finally ready to share that with you.

So, starting in a few weeks, after all my paperwork is completed, I am going to be volunteering for a few hours, every Tuesday evening, at Texas Children's Hospital. :)

Despite the fact that I currently feel like death has wrapped his boney fingers around me and is slowly pulling me down into his black pit (I kid, but really, I haven't felt so sick in years! I feel AWFUL!) I made it up to Texas Children's today for my volunteer interview. Under any other circumstance I would have tried to reschedule, but I already had to schedule this over a month in advance, and today is the only weekday for awhile that I don't have to go to work. So, I got the fever under control, pulled myself together, and went to my interview at noon. I met with a very nice lady and we chatted for about 45 minutes. She shared with me all the different opportunities they have for volunteers, and I decided to start my placement as a patient pal. Basically I will go to Texas Children's every Tuesday from 5-7 and talk to individual patients, read them stories, play games, do puzzles, or just hold babies. The point is to give parents a break and give the kids something fun to do. I could not be more excited about this! I cannot wait to get started! Unfortunately, it will be a few weeks still before everything will be in order and I can attend an orientation.

After the interview, I got super lucky and they said they could squeeze me in for my TB skin test while I was there since I live so far away. This is really awesome because now I can just have my school nurse read the test on Wednesday, sign off my paperwork, and fax it back in. Saves me a LOT of driving just to have someone look at my arm for 2 seconds. So, I headed over to the clinic to get my TB test done. I have had a lot of these skin tests done because you have to have one every year in college to be allowed into classrooms, so I know what they are like. EVERY single time thus far, I have passed out afterwards. I have a serious fear of needles. This isn't even a big needle; I realize it's no big deal, but every single time after it's over I start thinking about the needle in my skin, get lightheaded, and pass out. I have now learned that I have to ask the nurse to let me sit there for a few minutes to prevent this from happening, but I was sort of scared of this lady as when I first walked in I overheard her making fun of the lady before me for crying when she got a tetanus shot. Didn't seem like she was going to be too sympathetic to how absolutely pathetic I am, so I didn't say anything. She gave me the shot, I felt a little lightheaded but shook it off, walked out of the office, my vision started to blur a little, I leaned back against the wall in the hallway (where the scary nurse could no longer see me) and stood there like a crazy person for a few minutes. But guess what?!? I didn't pass out! HUGE progress here! haha

Since I wasn't expecting to get the TB skin test done today I ended up being out a lot longer than planned. I felt fine pretty much the whole time, then on the way home I started to feel a little run down again. That may have something to do with when the last time I took any Advil was though ... but no worries, I have since taken some more.

So, that's my big news of the day! I'm going to be volunteering at Texas Children's Hospital every Tuesday for the next 6 months. I am SO excited about this I cannot even tell you! :)

Project 365 - Week 3

Here are my shots from this week: